The Man That She’s Engaged To Is A Total Man-Child, And It’s Making Her Question If She Should Stay With Him
A 30-year-old woman is currently engaged to a 27-year-old guy, and they have been with one another for close to 2 years at this point.
Several months ago, they got engaged, and they live together in a house that she owns. At the end of October, they’re supposed to be eloping, but she’s currently questioning if she should really stay with him.
Although she really does love her fiancé, she’s getting seriously cold feet because he’s, well, a total man-child.
“Our relationship is one-sided, financially and emotionally,” she explained. “I feel more like his caretaker than his partner most of the time.”
“Frankly, I just don’t think he is a very good partner. The trouble is, I do love him very much as a person. He’s sweet and kind, doesn’t have a temper, accepting of all people, etc. But he doesn’t have himself together at all.”
“I pay for 75%-80% of all expenses, including food and housing. I make more than him, so I understand things won’t be 50/50, but I have to ask/remind him to send me money all the time. I bought him a phone because he couldn’t afford one, and I paid for dental insurance for him for 5 months, and he wouldn’t bother to call and make an appointment.”
When it comes to sharing household responsibilities, that doesn’t happen unless she prods him to pitch in.
If she does want her fiancé to help out around the house, she has to get on his case and ask him to do something several times before he decides to help out.
Another thing that irritates her is that her fiancé adores cats, so they got one, yet he doesn’t change the cat litter or pay for anything their cat needs.
kiuikson – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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She also constantly feels like her boyfriend doesn’t actually care if she’s sad or upset; he’ll say things to placate her but never wants to know what’s upsetting her or if he can truly help, so she’s left feeling like she’s all on her own a lot.
Something else that causes trouble between them is their work schedules. She works a full-time, 9 to 5 job, while he works 6 evenings a week from 4 p.m. to 11 p.m.
Their schedules conflicting means they rarely get to spend any quality time together. If they do spend time, it’s super late at night, which affects her sleep, and he’s not really invested in hanging out at that time.
Additionally, her fiancé comes with a few more red flags. He has some past trauma he has not dealt with.
He’s cheated on his ex and then turned around and lied to her face about still having interactions with her, so she doesn’t exactly trust him. He’s definitely addicted to alcohol, which leads to him feeling ashamed and not great overall.
She’s holding out hope that if she does follow through with marrying him, she will be able to fix his substance abuse problem and convince him to get help.
“I’m 30 years old, and while I understand that I’m not “old,” I’m not in my early twenties either,” she said.
“What can I expect from this man? He says he’d like to have a child with me one day, but would he even be helpful with a child?”
She does think that her fiancé is in love with her and there is affection in their relationship. Another upside is that her fiancé does talk about her to all of his loved ones in a very positive way.
“I know it sounds bad, but I do love him very much,” she continued. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be alone. I was single for 6 years, and I’m scared to be alone again, like I might not find anyone else.”
“But I’m also scared that time will pass, and I’ll be unhappy and regret staying with him. I don’t think I could handle seeing him with someone else. I have a lump in my throat just writing this.”
Do you think she’s better off alone and should call it quits, or is there a reason for her to keep being with him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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