After Her Niece Asked Why She And Her Husband Wouldn’t Be At Her Birthday Party, She Was Honest And Said It Was Because Her Husband Was Not Welcome
This woman has been with her husband for ten years and married for five now. But when she first met her husband, he was healing from some severe family trauma caused by his father.
Apparently, after her husband’s parents got married, his mother was expecting twins. Tragically, though, his mom ended up suffering from a hemorrhage and ended up with eclampsia. So, neither her husband’s twin sister nor his mother survived.
Her husband almost passed away, too, but after spending a period in the NICU, his health began to stabilize. For as long as he can remember, though, his father blamed his sister’s and mother’s death on him.
Her husband did have grandparents who meant the world to him and who tried to protect him from his father’s anger during early childhood. But unfortunately, they also died by the time he was eight-years-old– another tragedy that her husband’s father actually claimed was his fault.
“My husband spent the next ten years hearing day after day that he was the reason. At no point did he have another person to reassure him that he wasn’t,” she recalled.
Anyway, by the time she eventually met her husband, he was just starting to heal from the trauma. He had moved away from his father and begun attending therapy.
And after she and her husband hit it off, he was welcomed into the family. He was reportedly adored by her nieces and nephews and was good with the rest of her family.
Well, that was until January of 2020, when she got pregnant, and she and her husband went in for a scan. While at the doctor’s appointment, they learned that she had sadly miscarried. And after hearing the devastating news, something inside of her husband “broke,” and he began to unravel into a mental health crisis.
Apparently, her husband began doing a “weird manic laugh” that was also a sob. Then, he ran out of the exam room while she trailed after him, very concerned.
Maya Kruchancova – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Her mother and sister also happened to work in the same hospital. So, they watched as her husband experienced the worst moment of his life.
“They saw as medical personnel was forced to intervene because he was in the middle of a breakdown, hysterical and totally out of it. He was totally broken, and nothing could reach him,” she explained.
“It was the scariest moment of my life. The worst moment of his.”
Rather than understanding how her husband’s trauma manifested during her miscarriage, though, her mother and sister actually just judged him for “laughing”– one of the most common ways people deal with grief, might I add.
Then, they actually told all of the other adults in her family about the incident– who also ended up judging him for his reaction to the situation. What’s most disheartening about this, though, is that her entire family was aware of her husband’s history. In fact, her husband had even personally told them all about it years prior.
Anyway, her husband ended up receiving care from a psychiatrist who suggested that he needed much more intervention than just therapy alone could provide. And while he navigated that distressing time in his recovery, her family no longer wanted anything to do with his husband.
“They said a man who could laugh at his own wife’s miscarriage was not the kind of man they wanted around the kids. I told them I would not leave him behind,” she said.
So, she and her husband have not attended any family events since. And this hurt not only them but also her niece– who she spoke to just recently.
Apparently, her niece is turning twelve this year and has been planning her first big birthday party since the COVID-19 pandemic. And last week, her niece called her and said that she wanted her and her husband there.
However, her niece noticed that she and her husband were not on the invite list. So, she was forced to tell her niece that she was sorry but that she and her husband would not be able to come.
Well, her niece was understandably upset and then asked her numerous questions. First, she was asked why her niece never saw her. Then, her niece asked why she would not go to the birthday party and why she and her husband miss all of the birthday parties now.
And at that moment, she decided to just be honest with her niece about her family’s judgment. She told her niece that her husband was no longer welcome by the other adults in the family anymore. Soon afterward, though, her honesty kind of backfired.
“My niece apparently yelled at her parents and mine. Then, I got backlash from them for telling her what I did,” she vented.
And now, her family is claiming that she had no right to share adult business with her niece.
So, she has been left wondering if being honest with her niece about why she and her husband were never present was the right or wrong thing to do.
Can you believe her family shut out her husband following her miscarriage? Do you think she had a right to tell her niece the truth or not? What would you have said had you been in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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