His Parents Are Accusing Him Of Being Selfish For Not Wanting To Be A Caretaker To His Sister, Who Has Rett Syndrome
A 35-year-old man has a sister named Daniella, who is 2 years younger than he is, and she has something called Rett syndrome.
Rett syndrome is a genetic mutation that impacts the development of a girl’s brain, and it’s extremely rare.
Because Daniella has this, she will not ever be able to live alone, and she requires constant care.
Now, when he was little, he watched as his mom and dad forced his brother Henry to take on the role of parent and caretaker to Daniella.
Henry moved out of the house when he turned 10, and then his mom and dad expected him to pick up the slack.
“I was forced to quit all my extracurriculars,” he explained. “I was never allowed to go anywhere or do anything outside of school hours because they would need someone to complete chores while they were at the hospital with Daniella or look after Daniella while they went out to “have fun.”
“It was very common for them to say things like, “You get to see your friends every day at school. We only get to see ours two nights a week!” They would be out until midnight most times, and I would be on my own taking care of Daniella.”
He wasted no time packing up his things and moving out of the house as soon as he graduated from high school.
After that, he pretty much stopped speaking to his parents, except if there’s an emergency in their family because they just have a one-track mind.
Vasyl – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
If he does try to talk to his parents, every single conversation with them turns back toward their expectation that he will be Daniella’s caretaker once again.
Not too long ago, his dad has a scary incident with his health. Although his dad is alright, it made his mom and dad stop to consider the fact that they’re aging, and at some point, they will no longer be able to care for Daniella.
Eventually, his parents were able to get Daniella put on a waitlist to go into a care home, but the wait is inordinate.
The wait for Daniella to move to the care home is so crazy that his parents will certainly pass away before she gets accepted, or they will reach a day when they physically can’t handle caring for her.
“My parents explained this to me and said how since I have the ability to work from home with my job, I can start “taking over” certain days with Daniella’s care to “get back into the hang of” it and be ready in case I need to become her full-time caregiver,” he said.
“I explained that I would not work from home because it makes less money, and I want to focus on advancing my career. I also wanted free time for my own hobbies and outside social life. My parents called me selfish and said that I need to realize caring for Daniella will not leave enough time for “those other things.” I told my parents I would not be caring for Daniella.”
“I’ve spent my entire childhood taking care of her, and I’m done. Now other family members and some acquaintances are telling me what a horrible person I am because I am prioritizing career advancements and hobbies over my own sister.”
He even has some people in his life accusing him of thinking that disabled individuals shouldn’t be entitled to accommodations because of his stance on his role in Daniella’s life.
He does think every disabled individual deserves to have any, and all needs met, but that doesn’t mean he wants to be saddled with the burden of being the one to meet Daniella’s needs for the remainder of her life.
He believes it’s not on him to have to stop his life to provide for Daniella when his parents can’t.
“I know on the outside it sounds horrible to prioritize my career and hobbies over my disabled sister, but I won’t return to revolving my life around caring for Daniella because it’s never going to stop if I do,” he concluded.
He’s left wondering if it’s mean of him to want to live his life without being burdened with his sister.
What do you think?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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