A woman in her early 40s is currently married to her husband, who is around her age, but prior to their marriage, her husband was married once before.
She’s been with her husband for a decade now, but his ex-wife was in his life for more than two decades.
Her husband was friends with his ex when they were back in college, but then they chose to date one another and eventually got married.
Her husband and his ex then came to the conclusion that they were better off as friends after all, and they didn’t make the best match romantically.
So, they got divorced, but her husband still stayed really close friends with his ex, and she was still a meaningful part of his life.
Then, she met him and started dating him, and a couple of months into their relationship, he mentioned to her that this one friend of his was his ex-wife. She was floored.
“He explained the above to me, saying she was one of his closest friends and that it was purely platonic,” she said.
“I expressed some discomfort at him being so close to an ex, and he told me, “That’s fine. If you have a serious issue with it, let me know now and save us some time. I’ll choose her. I like you and all, but I’ve known her for over 12 years, and she’s one of the most important people in my life. You’ll have to be ok with that if you want us to be a thing.”
“When we were engaged, I asked again. He gave me this perplexed look & asked, “Why would us getting married affect my friendships?”