She Told Her In-Laws To Stop Referring To Her As “Mama” Instead Of Her Real Name Because It Felt Like They Were Erasing Her Personal Identity, But Her Husband’s Sisters Ended Up Attacking Her Over It
This woman and her husband currently have two daughters together– who are four and two years old.
Even though she is now obviously a parent, though, she hates that everyone– especially her in-laws– acts like being a “mommy” is her only personality trait.
And, of course, her husband never has to deal with the same treatment. Every holiday, he gets presents that actually reflect his interests and hobbies.
“Me? I get a bunch of mommy stuff. ‘Tee hee, mommy needs wine!'” she vented.
“I don’t get to be my own person. I’m just mommy.”
And one of the “mom gifts” that piss her off the most is those matching outfits. Don’t get me wrong: she thinks that a pair of cutesy matching pajamas to wear during Christmas photos for Instagram is one thing. But apparently, she constantly gets gifted real matching outfits to wear out of the house.
“People actually think I am going to go out in public wearing some cutesy matching outfits with my toddlers. As though I think they’re mini versions of myself? Or dolls?” she scoffed.
By far, though, the most irritating part about being branded with this “mommy persona” is never being called by her own name anymore.
In fact, every single time she goes over to her in-law’s house, she is referred to as “mama” during each interaction.
nyul – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
And this Christmas, it was apparently no different. She claims that from the moment she arrived, she could not escape the “mama” title during plain adult conversations with her in-laws.
So, at one point, after her sister-in-law decided to call her “mama” again, she honestly had enough and decided to address it. She responded, “You know my name is Carmen, right?”
It appears that her sister-in-law did not take the hint, though, and looked at her funny before hitting her with an “Of course, silly.”
She wasn’t going to let the moment pass, though, and honestly wanted to know why everyone treated her like less of a person for being a parent– specifically a mom.
So, she asked her sister-in-law why she kept getting referred to as “mama” instead of her real name. Moreover, she pointed out how it wasn’t like her husband was being called “papa.”
At that point, though, her sister-in-law reportedly just looked at her as though she had two heads before responding, “Um, okay,” and dropping the topic.
But still, the “mama this” and “mama that” shenanigans continued on throughout her entire Christmas celebration. So, after she had finally had enough, she decided to address all of her in-laws once and for all.
More specifically, she asked if everyone would mind calling her by her name instead of her pet title.
“And the same sister-in-law as before did the whole golly-gee doe-eyed thing and said, ‘But you’re such a good mama!” she recalled.
So, at that point, she kind of exploded. First, she told her in-laws that she was not just a mom. Then, she gestured toward the stack of Christmas presents that her husband received and asked why no one had purchased him stuff that said “papa” on it.
“Everything you gave me is somehow related to me being a mom. Why does he get to be his own person?” she added.
Thankfully, her mother-in-law did seem to get the message by then and took her hand to squeeze it.
Then, her mother-in-law actually apologized for making her feel that way and claimed to have never realized how the pet title made her feel. Plus, her mother-in-law admitted to just getting over-excited about being a grandma.
So, after hearing that, she honestly started to feel a bit better about the situation.
Well, that was until her two other sisters-in-law decided to jump into the conversation and actually began berating her for her dislike of the term “mama.”
One of her sisters-in-law even tried to do the whole “Are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone? You sound so angry, it isn’t healthy” thing that really pissed her off.
She felt like it came off as faux concern and was actually just meant to shame her for showing any emotional response to the situation.
Then, the other sister-in-law just became downright angry at her and started asking if being a mom was “somehow beneath her.”
She even got accused of thinking she was “better than the rest of them” for wanting to be called by her own name!
Anyway, that whole incident eventually ended, and she and her husband finally left the Christmas celebration.
While they were heading home, though, her husband decided to ask why she had kept those feelings bottled up for so long.
But honestly, she pointed out how she hadn’t. In fact, she had voiced her upset with feeling like she had lost her personal identity many times before and told her husband that no one had ever listened prior to the night.
Her husband then apparently nodded and understood her perspective but still claimed that she had “put a big pallor on the weekend.” Plus, he even told her that she would need to apologize for her outburst at some point.
Quite frankly, though, she refuses to do that until her sisters-in-law finally apologize for dehumanizing her all of these years.
So, now that she and her husband are basically at a stalemate over this situation, she has been left wondering whether freaking out on her in-laws and telling them to stop calling her “mama” actually made her the jerk or not.
Is it true that women are treated differently than men once they become parents? Is it understandable that she still wants her own identity aside from being a mom? Why do you think her sister-in-law took her outburst so personally? If you were in her shoes, how would you have handled this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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