She Was Planning To Go Back To Work About Eight Months After Delivering Her Son, But Her Husband Expected Her To Be A Stay-At-Home-Mom At Least Until Their Son Went Off To Kindergarten, So Now She Feels Guilty
This woman and her husband are about to embark on an exciting life milestone together: they are five months pregnant with their very first child.
So, the couple is over the moon and beyond excited to meet their child– who they found out is a boy.
Recently, though, she has started to butt heads with her husband over her post-baby plans– more specifically, how she plans to go back to work within the first year of her child’s birth.
For context, both she and her husband own and run their own businesses. And they absolutely love their jobs.
But, with the baby’s delivery date on the horizon, they started to discuss the various changes that were about to happen in their lives regarding schools, childcare, and their jobs.
“Now, it is important to note that my husband and I are very safety-oriented, and we are wary of people we do not know,” she prefaced.
Despite that, though, she ended up telling her husband that she would like to go back to work quite soon after their son was born. In fact, she imagined going back to working full-time once her baby was between eight to ten months old.
Don’t get me wrong: she is very excited to spend some one-on-one time with her son following his birth. But quite honestly, she just is not interested in being a full-time stay-at-home mom.
Apparently, though, her husband was under a completely different impression. It came out that her husband was actually expecting her to stay home with their son until he went off to kindergarten and perhaps even longer.
morrowlight – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
And after learning that, she was pretty taken aback– primarily because she claims to have no idea why her husband ever got that idea in his head.
As she noted, though, both she and her husband are pretty wary of strangers. So, one of her husband’s top concerns about her not being a stay-at-home mom is the idea of leaving their son with a babysitter.
“Nannies are also hard to come by where we live, and we both require some certain safety requirements for the said nanny, which makes it hard to find someone suitable,” she added.
Nonetheless, she did not want that to get in the way of her full-time work plans. So, she told her husband that she wanted to start looking into nannies now before their son was born.
That way, the nanny could get to know the baby during her maternity leave, and they could become familiar with each other by the time she heads back to work.
According to her, though, her husband was just not satisfied with that answer. Instead, he apparently started arguing with her about their expectations.
And while she knows that not every mom would feel comfortable with her intended decisions, she revealed how being a stay-at-home mom would just not be something she could handle.
“I know it would mentally tear me apart, and it has no appeal to me,” she admitted.
On top of that, she pointed out how she and her husband are in control of their own work hours– so it’s not like they will spend no time with their child.
Plus, they both just love their jobs, and she believes that they still deserve to be people outside of parenthood, too.
Even after explaining these points, though, her husband just still does not get it. In fact, he actually accused her of being a jerk for not wanting to stay home until their son starts school.
Thankfully, though, she did not let her husband walk all over her, and she called him out for being a jerk by expecting that of her. And since then, he has reportedly claimed to respect and support whatever she decides to do in regard to work.
“I recognize where he was coming from, but I just cannot for the life of me be a stay-at-home mom,” she vented.
At the same time, though, the entire argument has forced her to reflect upon her decision. And now, she has honestly been feeling kind of bad and is wondering if refusing to be a stay-at-home mom really makes her the jerk.
Why do you think her husband expected her to stay home for four to five years and possibly even more? Do you believe her point about parents deserving a life outside of parenthood is valid? Should she sacrifice her needs for what her husband wants? How do you suggest they reconcile this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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