Her Roommate Believes She Does Not Give Enough Notice Before Returning Back To Their Rental Home, But She Is Not Sure If She Needs To Give Any Notice At All

This twenty-nine-year-old woman is currently attending graduate school. So, while she finishes up her education, she has been living with two other roommates in a rental house.
Just recently, though, she has been dealing with an ongoing issue concerning one of her roommates named Jess, who is twenty-seven. Apparently, Jess accused her of not providing enough notice before returning to the house.
Now this issue first began last month when she went out of town. Prior to leaving, she marked on the house calendar that she would be gone Friday night and return on Sunday.
“However, Jess interpreted my calendar event across Friday to mean that I would be gone both Friday and Saturday nights,” she explained.
So, by the time she was heading back to town on Saturday afternoon, she texted her roommates to let them know that she would be home in a few hours. Jess, though, was shocked and upset.
Apparently, her roommate was “taken aback” by that information and asked if she could provide more of a “heads up” next time. And since she is typically an apologetic person, she told Jess that she would.
But then, a second incident occurred a bit more recently. That time, she had gone out of town again to go camping with a few friends for three days. And on day three, she and her friends decided to head back early due to inclement weather.
That day, though, she did not have any cell service to inform her roommate before she reached the main road. So, as soon as she had service, she sent a text to her roommate. That just was not good enough, though.
“Jess was the only one home, and she was really annoyed,” she recalled.

racool_studio – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Finally, a third incident most recently really sent her over the edge. Over the past few weeks, she and her two roommates had been away for winter break.
Then, last week, Jess texted and said that she would be home on Friday morning. She then responded to Jess and informed her roommate that she would either be home on Friday night or Saturday morning.
By the time Friday afternoon rolled around, though, her boss had ended up informing her that there was an open Saturday shift at her job. So, she decided to take it and left her parent’s house– which is two hours from her rental home– at the same time.
Then, she texted Jess that she was heading out and would be back at about 7:30 p.m. or 8:00 p.m. To her shock, though, Jess hit her with another angry message.
“Are you serious? Not again. Your texts say you’re going to be back Saturday, and then you switched your plans around and gave me two hours warning,” Jess texted her.
Now, she normally just diffuses conflict by immediately apologizing. So, as much as it annoyed her, that is what she did.
She apologized to Jess for not letting her know earlier. Then, she even offered to stay the night at her parent’s house before driving back super early for work the following morning.
Anyway, after sharing this whole incident with her parents, though, they called her crazy for apologizing. Then, that forced her to reflect on the situation, and she decided to finally stand up for herself.
“I apologize that you were caught off guard again, but my texts in the group chat actually say I will be home tonight or tomorrow morning, so I’m not sure why this is unexpected,” she texted Jess.
“It was a quick decision to return tonight as my work plans changed, but I assumed since you expected me to possibly be home tonight, a few hours’ warning was enough. I think we need to have a discussion on your expectations for warning when I am home.”
Jess has not yet responded to her message, though, and now, she is honestly really stumped. She wants to understand Jess’ perspective but has never had an issue like this with a roommate before.
So, she has been left wondering if she was actually in the wrong in these situations for catching Jess off guard.
What do you think Jess is doing at home that requires more notice? Is she required to give any notice since she pays her own rent? If you were in her shoes, how would you have handled these incidents? Is she in the wrong?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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