She Just Learned That The Guy She’s Currently Seeing Does Not Date Women Older Than 30, And She’s 30 Right Now, So She’s Concerned
This 30-year-old woman met a 33-year-old guy named Mark a little less than a month ago, and she actually met him through a gym, of all places.
She was at the smoothie bar in this gym one day, and Mark came up to her and struck up a conversation.
They got along great from the start, and she’s been seeing Mark with a lot of regularity since that chance encounter at the smoothie bar.
She feels that she and Mark have a lot of similarities, and he seems like a great guy.
“The day after Christmas, he asked me to be exclusive with him,” she explained. “I thought it was a little sudden, but all my friends always rib me for coming off as an ice queen and uninterested when dating because I want to go so slow.”
“I’ve always been hyper-analytical and never someone to take a risk without thoroughly thinking it through, but one of the promises I made to myself when I turned 30 was that I would be more spontaneous and take more chances. Anyway, I said yes, but now I’m wondering if I should’ve stuck to what I know and slowed down.”
“On our very first date, he made a comment about how it was nice to finally meet someone IRL and not on an app or something.”
She shared the sentiment with him, and she let Mark know that she had been active on a dating app.
It just so happened that Mark was on the exact same dating app, and then they began discussing how it was interesting that they had never encountered one another while active on the app.
nikkimeel – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She then asked Mark if she could check out his profile to see if she recognized him as someone she had just swiped past for some reason.
Mark said yes, and he showed her his profile while she showed him the one she had made. Mark’s dating profile came across as alluring and, well, also like there were no red flags.
If she had seen Mark on the app, she certainly would have tried to connect with him. As Mark stared at her profile, though, he mentioned that he was shocked that she appeared younger than 30.
Since she has frequently had people tell her that she looks young for 30, she thought nothing of his comment about her age.
But, when Mark asked her to come with him to a New Year’s Eve party that his friend was throwing, that all changed; clearly, there was a lot more to what Mark had said about her age than he had initially let on.
Anyway, when she got to this party, she met Mark’s friends for the very first time, and they were all quite lovely.
Mark’s friends all had to be at least in their 30s, and their partners were about the same age as well.
As the party kept going, she and the rest of the guests kept drinking, and most of Mark’s friends ended up a bit wasted.
Then, Mark’s friends began poking fun at him and how “it was about time he grew up.” They also referenced him dating younger women, so she put two and two together and suspected that Mark really had a thing for women of a certain age range.
Not wanting to be a Debbie Downer, she didn’t press the topic in front of all of Mark’s friends at the party.
The very next morning, though, when she was having breakfast with Mark, she did take the opportunity to ask questions.
Mark did finally blurt out that he had never once dated a woman over the age of 30 and that when he had first spotted her in the smoothie bar, he assumed she couldn’t be older than 24.
Mark then admitted that he had his dating app profile set to not show him women above the age of 26.
“When he saw I was not super positive about this, he immediately started telling me how great he thought I was and that’s he not that serious about the age thing, and how he really saw a future with me,” she continued.
“I let it go at breakfast because I wasn’t quite sure how I was feeling. I’ve been brewing on it for a few days now, and I think it’s given me the ick. I don’t think dating a younger person is inherently bad, but when you actively won’t date someone who is at least your own age and have created a pattern of exclusively dating younger people, I think it’s kinda weird.”
“It makes me think he probably has some really gross ideas about women and aging. I mean, I may look 20s-ish to him now, but what about when aging catches up to me, as it inevitably will? I talked to my friends, and they agreed it’s a red flag, but I know our little group can sometimes be a bit of an echo chamber. He is nice, clean, and has a good job. I also would feel weird breaking up with someone after only a week, but on the other hand, I just feel totally unattracted to him now. Am I being totally crazy, or is this valid to get creeped out over?”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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