He Admits That He’s A Habitual Cheater, And He Was Ready To Propose To His Girlfriend, But She Just Left Him For Messing Up Again
This 26-year-old guy believes that he has finally hit rock bottom.
For years, he has been in and out of various relationships that lasted years each. However, he always ruined them by cheating.
He now realizes that he has done so many horrible things in the past. And quite frankly, he is sick and tired of both sabotaging himself and hurting people he cares about.
So, he started going to therapy about five months ago. He also began dating a new girl and really believed there would be no chance of him betraying her again. After all, his partner had already forgiven his first act of infidelity in their relationship.
But lo and behold, he recently messed it up again. And since he cheated and betrayed his girlfriend’s trust for a second time, she decided to leave him for good.
“And honestly, I can’t blame her, and it’s probably in her best interest,” he admitted.
“I have confessed it all both times. I tell myself that I’m a broken man but not a monster.”
Regardless, he is still done with the catastrophizing cycle. He feels like whenever things are going great in his life, some alternate part of himself takes over and just bulldozes everything.
In fact, during his last act of infidelity, he was actually planning to propose to his ex-girlfriend. But, with his cheating, he knows he likely ruined any chance of tying the knot with her.
Glass Hat – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
While he can acknowledge that reality, though, he feels like he just cannot live this way anymore.
He did speak to his brother about his situation, who suggested that he start seeing a psychiatrist and begin taking medication in addition to his therapy.
However, he is just afraid to go on any pills– which is why he recently turned to people on the internet for some advice.
He self-identified as a “habitual cheater” and asked other past habitual cheaters what their wake-up call was and how they healed this horrible habit.
“If you could offer any guidance on what my next steps should be, I would truly appreciate what you have to say,” he said.
He was provided with a breadth of advice. But for starters, many people did agree with his brother’s suggestion.
“First thing to do is, if your girlfriend has left you, leave her alone! The trauma caused by cheating is immense. Respect her by letting her leave,” began Justasliceofhope.
“And if you honestly want to change for the best, so you no longer abuse a significant other through infidelity, then listen to your brother. He would know you better than anyone. Seek out a psychiatrist along with your therapist.”
Aside from mental health intervention, he was also provided with a different piece of advice: to work on his self-discipline.
“You have to work on your discipline. Plan and simple. People think that people who don’t cheat just don’t get the chance. That’s simply not true. Cheating is easy. In fact, if you look at the statistics– the statistics being that most unmarried relationships experience infidelity– it is far harder to remain faithful than it is to cheat,” explained Independent_shame504.
“The simple fact is that cheaters lack discipline. They can’t take themselves out of situations that increase the odds of infidelity, and they can’t resist their desires. They have little control over the way they react to situations,” they continued.
“So, work on your discipline. It’s literally the only way to not cheat. Being in love is not enough to stay faithful. It’s actions, not emotions, that keep a faithful person faithful. Join the army, take a martial arts class, something. But discipline is key.”
Other people also claimed he would need to set strong boundaries and get to the root of his psyche to figure out why he is inclined to cheat in the first place. Finally, some even suggested that he gets an accountability buddy to help him stay on track and maintain self-control.
Have you ever been stuck in a cheating cycle? If so, how did you recover? What advice would you give this young man? Is it possible to break away from being a habitual cheater?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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