She Told Her Husband To Follow The Nanny’s Lead Since He Is Barely Home At Night And, When He Is, He Messes Up The Kids’ Bedtime Routine
This woman and her husband currently have three children. Their eldest kids are 6 and 3-years-old; meanwhile, their youngest is just 10 months.
Her husband has a job that is “high profile,” meaning he is often not home to help with the childcare. At the same time, she also works a “regular” job from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.
That’s why they originally turned to daycare for their oldest child. But then, when her middle child was born during the pandemic, no daycares were available– pushing them to hire a nanny.
Now, her nanny initially worked at the same times she did– from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. However, once she gave birth to her third kid, she started to get very overwhelmed. This especially occurred at night, when she was left to complete bathtime and bedtime all by herself.
On top of that, she also developed postpartum depression– which made completing the childcare responsibilities solo that much more difficult.
So, after she eventually had a breakdown, she and her husband spoke with their nanny. And thankfully, their nanny agreed to change her hours. That way, she would have help with dinner, bath, and bed.
That was about six months ago now. And in the time since then, she detailed how she has gotten very close with the nanny.
“In many ways, she has become like a third parent to the kids. She’s so good with them,” she said.
They have even nailed down a nighttime routine that really works well for them. While the nanny handles her two older kids, she tends to her baby for baths and bedtime.
Studio Romantic – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
“It’s a nice rhythm, and my mental health has gotten so much better,” she revealed.
While her husband is no longer traveling all the time, however, he is still not even home for dinner or bed most evenings. So, even though he does help her out on the weekends when he is home, she claimed her husband is often reluctant to be firm with their children since he is away so much.
Sometimes, he also arrives home when their nanny is still there helping her. So, he does step in and try to help out the nanny with their nighttime routine.
However, she admitted that her husband allows the kids to rough house and break their routine in those instances– which not only throws the kids off but also makes bedtime much more difficult.
And recently, her nanny was honest about feeling awkward in those situations. Of course, her nanny does not want to undermine her husband– who is “the boss.” Yet at the same time, her husband’s actions are making the nanny’s job increasingly challenging.
Still, her husband is opposed to sending the nanny home once he arrives since he claims there’s no way he could handle the responsibilities on his own.
So, in her mind, there was only one option: her husband needed to defer to the nanny’s lead and follow suit.
“She knows our boys best, and she has to deal with the aftermath when they don’t listen and give her a hard time,” she reasoned.
However, her husband believes that he is the dad and the nanny is just an employee whose salary is paid by him.
Despite that, she still doesn’t think it is fair for him to walk in and interfere with her nanny’s routine at night.
So, she essentially told her husband that he either follows the nanny’s lead when it comes to bathtime and bedtime. Or, he should not help at all.
Ever since putting her foot down on that, though, her husband has accused her of allowing the nanny to take over his role and replace him.
That’s why now, she’s been left wondering whether telling her husband that their nanny should be the one in charge was actually a jerky thing to do or not.
Is it fair that her husband gets to be the “fun” parent without dealing with the real nitty gritty of parenting? Does it make sense why her nanny should take the lead, being that the nanny most often cares for her kids at night? Does her husband have a right to be upset or not? How would you handle this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
If true crime defines your free time, this is for you: join Chip Chick’s True Crime Tribe
She Found Out After She Kissed A Guy On The Third Date That He Did Not Brush His Teeth
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Relationships