Her Best Friend Never Hangs Out With Her Anymore Without Bringing Her Pre-Teen Daughter, So She Keeps Backing Out Of Social Events And Wishes They Could Get Some Alone Time
This woman met her best friend, Shelly, when they were just little girls. Since then, they have grown up together and remained best friends throughout their entire lives.
Both she and Shelly now have families, too. But, while she has all boys, her friend has all boys except for the youngest daughter. And Shelly’s youngest has actually started to present some issues in their friendship.
Apparently, her sons and Shelly’s kids all get along wonderfully. After all, they were basically raised as if they were cousins.
So, her family and Shelly’s family always do a lot of activities with all of the kids.
“The problem is when I want to spend time with just Shelly, she will bring her daughter without warning and say, ‘I thought we were having a girls’ night,'” she revealed.
“It feels underhanded and intrusive.”
According to her, Shelly has done this for numerous years, too. And every single time, it really gets under her skin.
Now, she knows that Shelly’s husband is pretty controlling and doesn’t really “let” her best friend go out much without her daughter. In fact, Shelly’s husband claims that her best friend needs to bring their daughter to “teach her to be a girl” since Shelly’s daughter only has brothers as siblings.
On top of that, Shelly’s husband believes that she and her best friend should not be doing or saying anything that they couldn’t do in front of Shelly’s daughter, anyway.
halayalex – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
But honestly, she just doesn’t think this arrangement is fair. She believes that if Shelly’s daughter gets to come, then all of the kids should get the same option instead of excluding her children just because they are boys.
And to be clear, she doesn’t have a problem with Shelly’s daughter whatsoever. Instead, she actually thinks the young girl is a great kid.
Nonetheless, she still just does not want to hang out with a pre-teen girl. She wants to talk about whatever’s going on in her life without Shelly’s daughter hearing.
“I don’t want Shelly’s daughter’s juvenile input into adult situations,” she added.
“And I sure don’t want her repeating everything at the middle school lunch tables the next day. I feel like a jerk just saying that, but it’s true.”
Recently, this situation came to a head, too, after Shelly asked her to go on a trip for their “friendiversary” without any of the kids.
After hearing that detail, she was completely on board. They even set the dates, picked a location, and she envisioned sinking her toes into the sand while holding a drink in hand.
But then, out of nowhere, her best friend spilled the beans and admitted their daughter would be going, too.
At that point, she knew she would no longer be going on the trip. So, she politely declined and told Shelly she wasn’t going anymore.
However, Shelly was obviously confused as to why, which was why she was forced to admit that she didn’t think they were bringing any of the kids.
Shelly still just tried to claim they were going on a “girl’s trip,” though, which was why her best friend’s daughter was invited. But, she stuck to her guns and claimed that if they took any kids, then her sons would be included, too. If not, then it is just the adults going away.
For whatever reason, her best friend just could not understand that and became very upset. Then, Shelly tried to say her daughter would be extremely disappointed and wanted to vacation to be “just the girls.”
“But sometimes I just miss my friend, having a drink, and talking about inappropriate middle-aged women stuff without the daughter,” she vented.
Regardless, whenever she says that her best friend gets upset and believes she doesn’t like the young girl.
That’s why, ever since backing out of the trip, she’s been left wondering whether declining every social situation that includes just them and Shelly’s daughter makes her a real jerk or not.
Can you understand why she wants some alone time with just her best friend? Do you think Shelly’s husband might be playing a larger role in this issue? How can she communicate her perspective without just hurting Shelly’s feelings? What would you do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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