He’s Starting To Resent His Girlfriend Because She Cannot Regulate Her Stress And Body Image Issues, But He Isn’t Sure How To Communicate That
This 33-year-old guy has a 34-year-old girlfriend who is going through a rough patch right now.
Apparently, his girlfriend has been extremely stressed out about work for the past six months since there have been layoffs at her office. At the same time, she is also suffering from some body image issues.
So, he recalled how, in the beginning, he tried to be understanding and picked up the “slack” around their house.
For instance, he cooks nearly every day and handles almost all of the cleaning. He also goes grocery shopping and claims he never complains about taking over any of these responsibilities.
At the same time, he also tends to his girlfriend and tries to make her personally feel better.
“I massage her after her day at work when she’s stressed. I make time for her every time she needs someone. I take care of her,” he said.
However, now that a decent amount of time has passed and nothing has changed, he is beginning to get resentful. In fact, he detailed how a bunch of little things that his girlfriend does now seriously frustrates him.
She once tried to cook him a nice dinner, and he claimed to really appreciate that. But, whenever his girlfriend cooks, she reportedly just leaves the kitchen a huge mess– which he hates.
He knows that if he were to just cook the dinner, then he would clean as he went along. Instead, it actually just takes him longer to clean up his girlfriend’s mess after she decides to handle their meals.
BullRun – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“Also, she has to ask 30 questions about how I want my food done before she actually cooks, even if I told her I have no preference and would prefer if she just did it however she wanted,” he explained.
“This frustrates me because I just want her to just take care of something without badgering me for once, which I’ve expressed a lot.”
Aside from the lack of help with household responsibilities, his girlfriend’s complaints about her body have also started to get under his skin– particularly because their physical relationship has flat-lined.
Now, he does understand that self-esteem influences the desire to be close. But what he cannot understand is why his girlfriend constantly complains about her appearance but does not do anything about it.
According to him, his girlfriend will make comments about her body every single day. Yet, when he “gently suggests” that she tries working out, she will just become irritated and claim to have no energy while proceeding to scroll on social media or play video games all night.
On top of that, he revealed how his girlfriend sometimes teases him throughout the day. But then, once the evening comes, she acts like nothing happened and just goes to bed– which upsets him the most.
And he claimed that if he ever tried to engage and be physical, his girlfriend would just accuse him of being weird or desperate.
That’s why he has since called her out and told her to stop teasing if she is not going to follow through.
In response to that, his girlfriend did reportedly say, “Okay,” which he recalled sounded a bit defensive.
But still, he is not sure how to cope with this situation anymore and just feels exhausted trying to make their relationship work on his own.
“I understand everyone has insecurities and complains, but it frustrates me when the complaint they’re making is a hole they’re digging themselves in, and they don’t do anything about it,” he vented.
So now, he’s been left wondering how to move forward in his relationship and tell his girlfriend that her behavior is leading him to resent her.
Is it fair that he feels like his girlfriend just is not trying in their relationship anymore? How can he communicate his frustrations? What could his girlfriend do to help reconcile their differences?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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