She And Her Husband Both Cheated On Each Other, But He Doesn’t Know About Her Infidelity And Wants To Give Their Marriage Another Shot Instead Of Finalizing Their Divorce
Earlier in the year, this woman’s husband asked to get a divorce. She could not believe it, and her heart sank immediately– especially because she thought that her husband had found out about her Reddit account.
Apparently, ever since 2022, she has been talking on and off with guys she met online.
The communication sometimes occurred over text but mostly took place over the phone. Steamy photos were also swapped in the process.
At first, she didn’t know why she was doing that, either. But in hindsight, she believes that she just felt emotionally detached from her husband– who no longer tried to spend any time with her.
“And I was looking for validation, but it does not make what I did okay, and I regret it,” she added.
Still, she detailed how her husband would never talk to her. All he wanted to do was play his video games every day rather than spend time with her and their children. So she felt like he became a “hermit” who mostly just played online by himself.
However, upon talking to her husband about why he wanted a divorce, she realized he did not even know about her online account and that she had been talking to other men. Instead, he had his own separate reasoning for wanting to split up, which was just as heartbreaking.
Her husband told her that he thought he wanted the life they had. But, after thinking about it over the last few years, he has come to regret getting married and having children because he never really loved her.
Her husband also claimed that he was once infatuated by her presence. And once the obsession wore off, it was “too late.” He even pointed out how he never wanted children but thought that she forced him to have kids together.
morrowlight – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Finally, her husband admitted to feeling anxious and depressed all the time and claimed that his mental health struggles were caused by both her and their children.
At that point, she decided to ask if he had ever considered just going to marriage counseling. And at the time, her husband was very opposed to that and said he wouldn’t do it.
But then, the very next day after this conversation, her husband did say he would go to one or two marriage counseling sessions– even though he was pretty confident that nothing would change his mind about the divorce.
“He hated that I wanted more to life and that he shouldn’t have to change. He then threw in that he hated spending time with me and the kids, wished he never met me, and would rather live alone forever,” she recalled.
“He believed that I pressured him to have kids and gave in because he thought he was in love. He then stated that he hated how insecure I was because I would always ask him to do things together and didn’t understand why I couldn’t just do it on my own.”
As you can probably imagine, she was absolutely crushed after hearing all of that from her husband. She felt like her years of marriage, her family, and her entire existence were just trashed by her husband at that moment.
Still, over the following week, she worked to keep the conversations flowing between her and her husband.
She wanted to understand his issues better and tried to convince him that they needed professional help.
Nonetheless, he insisted that he was done with their marriage, and she just felt confused while cycling through stages of anger and grief.
One day, however, while they were having a discussion, she watched as a message popped up on her husband’s phone that read, “I miss you.” And being that she thinks of her husband as a “loner,” that was very suspicious to her.
So, while she never went through his phone in the past, she had a gut feeling and decided to swipe through his texts. Afterward, she discovered that her husband had also been cheating on her with his coworker.
“I was sickened because he was messaging her about how he wished he was with her every second of the day, how he missed her body, touch, smell, and hair. This had been going on for months,” she explained.
Given what she had done, though, she knew deep down that her rage was not fair. Regardless, it seemed to her like the cheating her husband took part in was worse than what she had done since he was working with his coworker every single day. She, on the other hand, never participated in anything physical with the guys she was chatting with.
Anyway, she wound up confronting her husband about the cheating. But while he claimed to be sorry that he was caught, he did not regret being unfaithful because he was apparently in love with his coworker and never actually loved her.
The same day that they had this conversation, her husband then left their house and did not reach out to her or their kids for weeks. Plus, ever since they separated, he has only ever spoken to or seen the kids a small handful of times.
At the same time, her husband has begun dating his affair partner. And despite her considering “throwing hands” with that woman, she decided that the woman could keep her “loser ex-husband.”
So, they proceeded with the divorce process and are still in the middle of it right now. However, she has worked hard to move on and has started to feel better every day. She has even started seeing a new guy who is ambitious, kind, communicative, and expresses his wants and feelings.
“I’m kind of excited to see where this goes because it feels nice to have someone who wants to spend time with you and build up something potentially long-term,” she revealed.
Out of nowhere, though, her soon-to-be ex-husband recently reached out to her again and started expressing remorse about his cheating.
He also claimed to regret all the horrible things he said to her “in the heat of the moment,” apologized for not being present during their marriage, and said that he never wanted to get remarried. Instead, he tried to say that he meant he still wanted to work things out with her.
“He must think I’m dumb and stupid because that is not what that meant at all,” she said.
Her husband is still seeing his affair partner, too, because she will not take him back. Yet, every time they see each other, her husband just starts crying and talking about how he still wants to fight for their marriage.
But quite frankly, at this point, she just does not think it is worth the effort– especially when her husband is still holding onto his affair partner as a backup plan.
“I also potentially have a soon-to-be serious partner that I can see myself building a future with and maybe having more kids,” she vented.
So, while she knows that she is also to blame for the fact that their marriage had crumbled, she is ready to move forward.
Is she right that they are both to blame for the demise of their marriage? Why do you think her husband has suddenly come crawling back? Would you give him another shot, or do you think his “infatuation” will just wear off again?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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