Katharina Buczek
“At that point, I should have still said ‘no’ and blocked him. But I was selfish and ignorant,” she revealed.
“I thought, ‘He’s going to cheat anyway, and I am not the first or the last girl. So, what’s the harm in doing it? Mark is a serial cheater anyway, so one more person won’t make a big difference!'”
In other words, she essentially convinced herself that being with Mark was not a big deal– despite the fact that she knew he had both a wife and a baby.
And since he was married, she actually viewed that as a safety net, which gave her reassurance that he would not assault her.
She knew in her mind that Mark did commit a crime, then his wife would find out after she pressed charges. So, since Mark would stand to lose everything, she knew he would not try anything on her.
In hindsight, she knows that was very immature, stupid, and selfish of her. Nonetheless, she still went through with the plan and actually felt very comfortable and safe around Mark.
Apparently, being with him was the first time she enjoyed something like that. And on an emotional level, Mark made a large difference in her life. She was no longer afraid of physical closeness, and she even gained a ton of optimism and confidence in her personal life.
Two years have passed since then, though, and she still feels extremely ashamed about her disregard for Mark’s wife and child.
“I tried to find out the wife’s identity multiple times to tell her about Mark’s infidelity and apologize to her for enabling it, but I don’t know her name, what she looks like, or the city they live in,” she explained.
And while she does feel horrible about having an affair with Mark, she also still feels grateful that the experience made a significant difference in her life.
Nonetheless, she realizes that she was a part of the problem.
