She Started “Subtly Manipulating” Her Boyfriend Into Giving Her More Attention, And It Actually Worked
This 22-year-old woman and her boyfriend have been together for over a year and a half. And at the start of their relationship, everything was wonderful.
Her boyfriend treated her like a queen, always expressed his love for her, and consistently sent her sweet text messages.
“I felt really secure in the relationship, knowing that he was an active participant,” she recalled.
However, some big changes have occurred in both of their lives more recently. So, she started to feel pretty neglected.
Apparently, her boyfriend became “too busy” to give her any attention, yet she watched as he poured his time and effort into everything else. And this caused her to start resenting her boyfriend.
She claims that she has pretty high standards and expects any partner of hers to set aside at least 10 minutes for conversation every single day. Yet, her boyfriend just was not living up to that standard.
“He used to go on family vacations and completely forget about me and wouldn’t even bother checking up on me,” she said.
And when they were out with their friends more recently, she was trying to be close to her boyfriend. More specifically, she tried standing in front of him, holding his hand gently under the table, and some other forms of “light PDA.”
But, to her annoyance, her boyfriend was not having any of it– which made her feel like a fool.
djile – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
At the start of their relationship, she loved how her boyfriend always made it a point to show her off in public and be romantic. So she missed that.
Regardless, when she brought the issue up to her boyfriend, he apparently just refused to hear her out, shut down the discussion, and accused her of being too needy, demanding, and emotional.
That was when she decided to turn to Reddit for some advice. And people online offered her a mixed bag of suggestions.
Some people called her out for being the problem and agreed that she was needy, controlling, insecure, and codependent.
Others told her that she should just talk to her boyfriend, go to therapy, and work on building her self-esteem.
But quite frankly, she thought none of that advice was helpful. And she still felt underappreciated, neglected, and taken for granted by her boyfriend.
Well, that was until she got one more recommendation involving a book. Apparently, the book essentially advised her to lean back and stop putting pressure on the relationship.
“It asked me to purposely be less available and ‘busy’ for my man, said not to call, let him text me, and not reply back immediately,” she explained.
“So I got involved in all sorts of activities that made me feel better about myself, and he got curious at first and wanted my attention.”
And honestly, it made her feel amazing when her boyfriend finally gave her some real attention instead of the “crumbs” of effort that he had put in before.
Throughout this whole process, she claimed she was not passive-aggressive, demanding, or needy, either. Instead, she was actually “sweet as a peach,” which only helped her create a stronger air of mystery.
“I was playing the part of a popular celebrity who was living an ‘Innocent Charmed Life,’ and thus my time was money. I appeared happy and attractive and made it a point to ‘glow’– and he noticed!” she revealed.
“I reassured him whenever he asked me of my love for him, and it finally felt good to be the one who wasn’t asking for reassurances.”
So, she essentially got to just sit back and watch as her boyfriend began sending her flowers, buying her desserts and coffee, writing her poms, and showing her off in public.
That’s why she really believes this new strategy helped form a turning point in her relationship.
Still, she realizes that, in order to get there, she “played dirty.” That’s why she’s been left wondering whether “subtly manipulating” her boyfriend to get more attention makes her a jerk or not.
Does it sound like she took everyone’s advice by just laying off the gas? Or is it manipulative because she is “acting” like she isn’t being needy instead of actually working on it? Do you think she was “needy” to begin with, or did she have a right to expect more attention from her boyfriend?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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