He Doesn’t Want To Be His Brother’s Caregiver, But His Mom Keeps Making Him Feel Guilty And Expects Him To Come On A Cruise To Play Babysitter To His Brother
This 22-year-old man does not have the best relationship with his mom, who barely even talks to him.
In fact, the only time his mom gives him any attention is when she wants him to help care for his older brother, Jack, who has Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
And more recently, he and his mom have been in a major stalemate about his caregiving responsibilities.
Apparently, his mom wants him to become Jack’s caregiver in the event that anything happens to her. But, he just does not think he is cut out for that role and instead suggested that his mom reach out to a professional.
He detailed how he has already been taking care of people for his entire life. So, now that he is a young adult, his sights are set on his own future– in which he wants to get married and start a family.
On top of all of that, he also wants to grow up a little and gain some confidence in himself.
Just the other day, someone asked him why he did not have a girlfriend, and he was forced to tell them that he was still immature and working on himself first.
“I want to figure out my life right now. I’m in college, a junior majoring in computer science. And to put it nicely, I lack communication skills and get shy a lot, so I’ve been pushing myself to go out more,” he explained.
“This week, I even started salsa dance classes to help me and also started looking for an internship.”
NAN – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
As of right now, he already has two jobs, too. His first role is as a part-time caregiver for his blind aunt. And his second role is actually a full-time job that his mom does not even know about.
Despite working hard in school, helping at home, and working two jobs, though, his mom seems to get frustrated with him whenever he tries to enjoy himself.
For instance, he ordered tickets to see Spiderman a while ago because he absolutely loved the Marvel character. So, he recently went to see a late-night viewing, but his mom was furious about that.
First, she started crying and accused him of being selfish for not taking his brother Jack. Then, his mom claimed that he was treating his brother badly.
“She also told me she’s going to take me off the car insurance, something I’ve been asking her to do, and put the car in my name, but I know she won’t,” he added.
Aside from the Spiderman incident, his mom also wants to take them on a cruise soon– in which he will not be required to pay for anything. However, if he goes, he will be tasked with watching his brother.
He claimed the idea seems like a nightmare, too, since his brother Jack is “girl-crazy” right now. So, he is worried that if he’s not watching his brother close enough, then Jack might touch a girl– which actually caused his brother to lose his last job.
That’s why he wound up telling his mom that he was fine with staying home to take care of the dog while she just went with his brother. But his mom was not too happy about that and became pretty angry with him.
“I’m sorry if it’s selfish, but I’m not Jack’s parent, so I’m not thinking the same way my mom is,” he revealed.
“She had Jack when she was 18, and I’m 22 now, just starting to go out. Jack doesn’t have anyone else, and I know his life is hard, but I don’t want to be his caregiver for the rest of my life.”
He hopes to find a girlfriend, get married, and have his own kids. He also wants to start his own traditions, but his mom just gets mad whenever he tries to do anything without his brother– even though he just wants to be like other 22-year-olds.
“But my mom doesn’t see that. All she sees is my brother and me. I feel like my life revolves solely around my brother,” he vented.
So, he does plan to sign up for therapy because he knows he has a lot of things to work through. However, in the meantime, he’s not sure what to do.
Is it fair that his mom makes him feel obligated to be his brother’s caregiver? Does he have a right to want to start his young adult life? Would it make him a bad brother if he chose not to care for his sibling? What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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