If your spouse threatened to get a donor after you said you don’t want to have another baby with them, would you consider your marriage over?
This 36-year-old man has spent 15 years married to his 42-year-old wife, and they have three daughters together who are 9, 12, and 13.
He was 21 when he tied the knot, and he absolutely was not prepared to have kids at such a young age; however, his wife stated that she wanted to have them before turning 30. He agreed to that timeline, and they had their firstborn when he was 23.
“Looking back, I want to be clear about something: I love my daughters more than anything, and I can’t imagine my life without them. I don’t regret having them.”
“Now we’re in a completely different stage of life. Our kids are getting older, and I feel like we’re finally getting some independence back.”
But his wife mentioned not too long ago that she really would like to have one more baby, as it’s her final chance before she grows too old.
He responded to his wife that he is finished and done having kids. This is the only time in his life he has put his foot down and told his wife no on procreating.
He has compromised with all three of their children, and he’s not interested in being a dad all over again at 36. He wants to be able to prioritize raising the girls they already have.
“What really shocked me is what happened next. She told me that if I won’t agree to another child, she’ll go to a [donor] bank and get pregnant anyway,” he added.
“I told her that if she intentionally had another baby against my wishes, it would fundamentally change our marriage and I’d likely file for divorce. Her response was basically, ‘Do whatever you want. I’m having another child one way or another.'”
“I’m honestly at a loss. This isn’t just about whether to have another baby anymore. It feels like we’re on completely different pages about respect, major life decisions, and what marriage means.”
He’s left wondering if he’s being the unfair one or if his wife is.
His wife has been unreasonable all along by pushing him into having all of their kids, and now she’s really gone off the deep end. It’s insane to me that she’s happy to throw their entire family out for the sake of having one more baby.
He should separate from her immediately and file for divorce; that way, he won’t be on the hook for child support with her next kid that she’s having with or without him.
And who’s to say his wife will even stop at four? Sounds like she’s going to keep on going, so good luck to her being a single mom at her age with a baby.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
