If you were facing down a monster-in-law and engaged to someone who wouldn’t do anything about it, would that be enough to call off your wedding?
For the last five years, this 26-year-old woman has been with her fiancé, who is the same age as her, and he proposed a year ago. Now, her fiancé’s mom has pretty much hated her since before they got into a relationship.
Her fiancé’s mom has constantly told him that he’s ruining his life by being with her and that there are plenty of other girls out there who would be a better fit for him.
“She regularly ignored me, gossiped about me while I was in the next room, compared me to his brother’s girlfriend, and treated me like I didn’t exist,” she explained.
“I always remained respectful, bought her thoughtful gifts for birthdays, Mother’s Day, and Christmas, and genuinely tried to have a good relationship with her, but nothing changed.”
“Whenever I raised the issue, my fiancé would tell me, ‘She’s just like that,’ and make me feel like I was overreacting. Eventually, I stopped going to his parents’ house because it was affecting my mental health. Despite that, our relationship was genuinely good whenever his family wasn’t involved.”
The evening after her fiancé proposed to her, he said they had to go to his mom and dad’s house, but she obviously wasn’t interested.
She went anyway, and her fiancé’s mom stared at her and claimed the engagement was so upsetting to her that it was going to give her a heart attack.
When it came time to plan the wedding, her mom generously offered to pay for it. She and her fiancé thought a tiny ceremony with their closest loved ones there for the vows would be best, but they could have a big reception later on.
Her mom found a beautiful location and put the deposit down. Her fiancé was in agreement with everything as they went along.
However, as soon as he filled his parents in, his mom voiced her disappointment, and then her fiancé began fighting with her about things he had already been on board with.
Two days ago, her sister, her mom, her fiancé, and her fiancé’s parents met up to talk about the wedding in a café. When her mom detailed the plans, her fiancé’s mom began screaming.
“She pointed her finger in my face, repeatedly waved her hands inches from my face, said I couldn’t have the wedding I wanted, accused me of stealing her son, mocked my venue, said I wasn’t worth marrying, and even said he should just take me and live with me unmarried,” she added.
“She refused to let anyone else speak, and the scene became so loud that people throughout the café were staring at us. His father joined in, saying a wedding with 10 people wasn’t a real wedding, it was a waste of his time to drive an hour, and that he wouldn’t attend.”
“The situation escalated further when his mother grabbed me while continuing to shout, despite my mom repeatedly asking her to calm down. Throughout all of this, my fiancé sat silently. When I asked him to say something, he replied, ‘I have nothing to say.'”
She, her mom, and her sister walked out, and she suffered from a panic attack outside. Her fiancé was silent the whole day, but texted her that night to say that he loved her.
She questioned her fiancé about why he failed to come to her defense, and he said he wouldn’t have been able to do anything, and his mom and dad were right anyway.
The following day, she called off the wedding and informed her fiancé that he had shattered her trust. She stated that she never wanted to be near his mom again after how she acted.
“At first, he said if his parents weren’t at the wedding, there would be no wedding. Later in the same conversation, he changed his mind and said we could get married without them,” she continued.
“I also told him that if we ever considered marriage again, I would need to see real change, including him becoming independent and us attending counseling. He agreed.”
“For now, I’ve asked for space because I’m heartbroken and trying to decide whether this relationship can be saved.”
Her fiancé has a track record of being spineless, so no, this man will never stand up to his mom, and she’s already getting a taste of how the rest of her life will go if she does meet him at the altar.
No amount of counseling will help her fiancé magically side with her over his own mom. She’s setting herself up to come after his mom on his list of priorities if she does remain with him.
Now, if his mom was lovely, maybe that wouldn’t be such a hardship, but this woman is the devil. There are plenty of men out there who are not mama’s boys, and she should go find one.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
