Her Fiancé’s Mistress Passed Away, But He Spoke At Her Funeral And Still Is Prioritizing His Mistress Over Their Relationship
This 30-year-old woman and her 40-year-old fiancé have been with one another for approximately 9 years.
Around a year or two into dating, they did take a break, since she was feeling that he was getting way too close to a female coworker and the relationship was not appropriate.
Her fiancé is a realtor, and this other girl was too. Eventually, she did get back together with her fiancé, but then she found out that he was sleeping with this coworker she was worried about, and he continued to sleep with this girl in the first several months they were back together again.
“We did work things out, the infidelity isn’t as big of an issue for me as it is for other people,” she explained.
“I quickly felt trust with him again and things were great, the issue of the affair has rarely come up since we talked through our resolution years ago. 6-ish years later we got engaged. Almost a year after that, his mistress died.”
“Excuse my cold tone with this but to me, she is not a good person and I will never see her in that light (I found out she had a [thing] for taken men and she played a big role in the end of 4 other’s marriages). My fiancé went to the funeral and spoke (at her parent’s request) despite my expressing how hurtful and disrespectful that was in my eyes.”
Not only did her fiancé go to the funeral of his mistress; but in the months after her death, he has helped hold a fundraiser in honor of his mistress.
All along, she has kept pointing out to her fiancé that it’s super disrespectful and hurtful of him to still be involved with this woman even after her death.
Although she was able to forgive and forget with the initial affair, when he continuously puts this woman before her, she just can’t deal.
svetograph – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She has sacrificed a ton for him and tried her best to make compromises too, and yet, he hasn’t done anything like that. There’s no give and take.
She just can’t get past how rude it is for him to still be prioritizing the connection he had to this woman.
A few evenings ago, there was a little fundraising dinner in this woman’s honor, and her fiancé didn’t tell her he was going until an hour before he had to leave. When he did tell her about the dinner, she once more told him that she wasn’t feeling ok with this at all.
“He said I need to get over the affair and stop holding it over his head and I need to figure my stuff out,” she said. “He wishes I could see his perspective because I wouldn’t be upset if I stepped back and saw his side of things (yet, he couldn’t articulate his perspective).”
“He also said he was sick of my meritless threats after I said if he is going to continue to have an inappropriate emotional connection with his dead mistress and bring it to the forefront of our lives together, that I couldn’t live the rest of my life like that. He said he has the right to honor a “good friend” and that she always had his back even after he “chose me.”
“This has really caught me off guard the past year. I thought there was no connection to her anymore. I also thought I had a partner that would care enough about my feelings to be willing to change some of their actions. I know I would feel awful if he came to me and said that something I was doing was hurtful to him and he found it disrespectful – I’m getting none of that from him.”
Do you think it’s time for her to leave him behind?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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