Her Husband Wants To Be A Stay-At-Home Dad, But She Doesn’t Think He’s Capable And Wants To Hire A Nanny Instead
This 33-year-old woman and her husband, who is 37, currently have a 3-month-old son.
And since she was given a six-month fully paid maternity leave, she has been at home for the past three months. Her husband, on the other hand, was only given two weeks of paternity leave.
So, before they welcomed their son into the world, they had a discussion about post-maternity leave childcare.
It was at that point that they decided to hire a nanny once she was ready to head back to work rather than one of them being a stay-at-home parent.
“My husband and I have similar base incomes, but I have much better benefits and much greater bonus opportunities,” she explained.
“We could survive on just one income, but we wouldn’t be as comfortable as we are right now.”
More recently, though, it appears that her husband has begun to rethink their nanny plan. All of a sudden, he claimed to think that one of them should stay home with their son until he was 3 years old and ready to go to school.
However, she was honest and told her husband that there was absolutely no way she would stay home.
After all, it would hurt both her career and her retirement plans. She also just does not really enjoy being home.
Prostock-studio – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
But rather than dropping the topic, her husband proposed a different idea– him staying home with the baby.
Still, she is just not okay with that based on what happened two years ago after her husband lost his job.
When that happened, her husband took a three-month break before he started searching for jobs again.
During that time, he didn’t do much aside from burning wood in their firepit, scrolling on TikTok, and building some furniture in the garage.
She admits that it would have been fine if her husband also helped out around the house. But he didn’t, and on top of working, she was forced to take on all of the household responsibilities.
In fact, she did all of the cleaning, meal planning, and cooking. She also wound up hiring a house cleaner to help her out.
“Because with him being home so much, I couldn’t keep up and was getting resentful,” she recalled.
To this day, the cleaner still goes to their house once a week, too. However, if they drop down to just one source of income, she will no longer feel comfortable paying for that luxury.
Anyway, after her husband suggested that he become a stay-at-home dad, she tried to give him a reality check.
More specifically, she pointed out how he would also have to take care of the house– not just look after their son.
If he stayed home, she would expect her husband to clean and cook the majority of the time.
But, she is honestly not very confident that he is fit for the bill.
“I don’t think he’d make a good stay-at-home dad,” she revealed.
“He has very poor time management skills, poor housekeeping skills, and with his anxiety, it just sounds like a recipe for disaster.”
Still, her husband is confident that he would do a fine job. He also believes that staying home would allow him to work on house projects more, such as building furniture and “burning wood in the fire pit.”
Finally, her husband claimed that he would support her if she wanted to stay home with their son. So, he believes that she should do the same.
Her concerns have not just vanished, though, and whenever she tries to express her worries, they just wind up fighting, and her husband gets upset.
So now, she has no idea what to do. And even though she thinks her husband being a stay-at-home dad will ultimately backfire, she’s been left wondering whether she should give him a shot on a trial basis.
Can you understand why she’s hesitant to let her husband stay home with the baby? Does it sound like he has a full grasp of what’s required of stay-at-home parents? How can she handle this situation without upsetting her husband?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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