How To Let Someone Down The Easy Way, As Opposed To The Struggle Bus Way, Like Ghosting or Causing A Scene
When you’ve been dating someone and aren’t really into them, that means it’s time to part ways.
Some people find letting someone down or telling them they aren’t interested really easy, and for others, it’s impossible. Conflict and confrontation are scary, and overall, it’s an uncomfortable situation to be in.
Taking the easy way out and ghosting someone is always an option, but for those of us who have been ghosted, we know how badly it hurts, and it’s a pretty cruel method of ending things with someone. So, here are some tips for letting someone down easily without ghosting or causing a scene.
First, you want to be clear and concise about why you’re ending things with the person you’re seeing. Think about what exactly it is that’s turning you off, whether it’s something they did or simply a mental headspace you’re in. Going over these things before breaking things off with them will make it easier for you to communicate your feelings and keep things in check.
Another valuable tip about letting someone down – don’t procrastinate. You should tell this person how you feel as soon as possible. Dragging things out to wait for the “right moment” will only send mixed signals and make them feel like everything is fine when it isn’t.
When the big moment comes, and you’re ready to break things off with this person, make your explanation direct and simple. Don’t make things too complicated. You don’t want to beat around the bush when it comes to this kind of stuff.
You also don’t want to be too harsh, so mention some of the positive aspects of the time you shared, then get real.
For instance, you can tell this person, “You’re very nice, and I enjoyed hanging out with you, but sadly I’m not feeling a spark between us.”
Is it uncomfortable to say? Yes! Will it potentially feel cruddy at the moment? Yes! But over time, this person will come to appreciate the fact that you communicated what you were feeling versus ghosting them or coming up with a fake excuse as to why you can’t be with them.
nemanjanovakovic – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Finally, the time and place for letting someone down is important. I know it sounds so much easier and less intimidating to do this all over text. But unless this person genuinely weirds you out or you are a long distance from them, you should break things off face to face.
This way, you can communicate so much more clearly with your body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. It will also give you an opportunity to see how this person reacts to what you’re telling them, and you can choose in the moment whether or not you want to hear them out.
When all is said and done, it’s time to fully let that person go. You’ve let them down, you’ve walked away, and now it’s time to commit to that decision. Don’t continue to text them whenever you’re feeling flirty, don’t stalk their social media, etc. Take a few days to focus on yourself and let this person fade from your radar. Remember, you broke things off for a reason!
Letting someone down is uncomfortable, but it’s a part of life. Hopefully, these tips will help you feel more prepared the next time you find yourself in that position! You got this.
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