Her Boyfriend’s Work As A Chef Always Infatuates People, And His Interesting Life Makes Her Feel Like She’s Living In His Shadow

vectorfusionart - stock.adobe.com-  illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
vectorfusionart - stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This 24-year-old woman has a boyfriend, who is 28. And their lines of work could not be more different.

She currently works in corporate; meanwhile, her boyfriend is an established chef whose entire life has been spent traveling and doing spontaneous things.

While she thinks her boyfriend’s accomplishments and lifestyle are incredible, she also loves him for who he is– not just his “cool” life.

Still, she has one major issue with their relationship: she feels like she’s constantly living in her boyfriend’s shadow.

Whenever they are around strangers, for instance, she just feels like a nobody. Her boyfriend will mention that he is a chef or has a connection to somewhere that a stranger has lived, and all of a sudden, people are infatuated with him.

“I love that, and at times, I am the one to bring things up about him,” she clarified.

“But then, I’m usually left standing there with nothing to say.”

Now, she is not shy or introverted. Instead, she actually claimed to be a really extroverted person who is known for being easy to talk to and charismatic.

Yet, whenever she and her boyfriend meet someone new– and they hear that her boyfriend is a chef and she works a “boring” corporate job– no one ever tries to get to know her better.

vectorfusionart – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

She admits that she has lived a normal life. She was never able to afford to travel a ton or go on wild adventures.

“And I work a normal corporate job now to make money for myself and support my immigrant parents and their retirement,” she explained.

“I plan to build a fulfilling life for myself, but it’ll take some time.”

So, until then, she is forced to constantly deal with her boyfriend being the center of attention. It doesn’t matter if they are out at a restaurant or bar, going horseback riding, shopping, or even just picking an item up off Facebook Marketplace.

Somehow, her boyfriend’s occupation always comes up, and people are so intrigued that they even forget to ask her name.

She doesn’t want to just be viewed as “his girlfriend,” either– especially because she never used to see herself that way.

She knows that she is interesting, funny, and smart, but what she brings to the table is never acknowledged in social situations with her boyfriend.

She realizes that, in order to combat this insecurity, she has to create a life of her own and make herself worthy of being talked about. She is trying to do that, too, but it isn’t super easy when her plate is already filled up with responsibilities.

“It’s going to take years before I can even join in on these conversations he has with others,” she said.

“I didn’t get to be a free-living 18-year-old boy running around the world, pursuing whatever career they wanted.”

Still, she hates feeling sad after any interactions with strangers, and she would never ask her boyfriend to stop talking about his work.

“Because I would hate to dim my boyfriend’s light since he deserves to let people know about himself,” she vented.

So, in the meantime, she’s been left wondering how to get over her insecurity.

Have you ever felt like you lived in a partner’s shadow? Do you agree that it wouldn’t be fair for her to dim her boyfriend’s light? Could she still somehow talk to him about her feelings? How else could she battle this insecurity without changing her job?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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