His Wife Suffers From Chronic Pain, But He Doesn’t Think Her Pain Gives Her An Excuse To Be Mean To Him

rh2010 - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

So many people struggle with chronic pain and deal with the toll it takes on their physical, mental, and emotional health. Oftentimes, the battle can be isolating and overwhelming.

This man’s wife has chronic pain, and he believes that she doesn’t think he understands her health issues.

“She runs her own business and is constantly trying to take on things that I, as a more able-bodied individual, can do. When I tell her to relax and let me handle it, she snaps at me and says that I don’t know her body,” he said.

While he does agree that he can’t put himself in her shoes to know what she is physically capable of, he feels frustrated because all he wants to do is help her so that she will hopefully have less physical pain in the long run.

“She’s snippy and rude, and when I ask if I did something, she tells me to give her grace because it’s her pain that’s making her feel that way,” he explained.

He’s responded to this by pointing out to her that her pain isn’t an excuse to be mean to him.

“Fast forward to today, and we aren’t talking right now. She is still being rude toward me. On top of that, if I treat her like an individual who doesn’t have pain by just letting her go ahead and do her day-to-day, she tells me I need to be more attentive to her pain,” he continued.

Understandably, it’s difficult for him to know how to support his wife when she’s giving him conflicting messages. This has put a lot of strain on their relationship, and he doesn’t know what to do.

Rightfully, he feels confused because he’s noticed that his wife becomes “quiet and distant” both in response to her pain and when she’s angry with him, so he never knows what is going on with her when he notices this behavior.

rh2010 – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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