Chip Chick
This 35-year-old woman and her 35-year-old fiancé are supposed to get married in just three months, but she’s beginning to have major doubts about whether she should go through with this.
She and her fiancé spent 1.3 years dating, and they have been engaged for the last 10 months. 5 months ago, she moved from Oregon to Virginia to be with him, and she instantly noticed that his behavior began to change.
“We are both in high-powered fields with demanding schedules (he’s in software, I’m in healthcare). He upholds values where he is to be seen as the man of the house, the provider, the primary decision maker, and the wife is to listen and support his work,” she explained.
“In our fights, he said he does not respect or care about my work, his work comes before mine and wants me to support his work and his vision. I need to ask him outside of the fight if he truly believes in this power dynamic or if he said this in the heat of the argument. I am currently applying for jobs.”
“He gives me a list of things I should do, and if I have a problem with it, he gets very frustrated, gives his reasoning, disregards mine, and ultimately makes the decision for the both of us. He also said things like if I don’t want to listen to him because he is the man, I should move back to Oregon.”
She also has realized that he likes to jump to the worst possible case in arguments, and he also likes to yell, cut her off, and not listen to her.
Their fights last for hours and happen pretty frequently. Another thing that bothers her is that her fiancé likes to dictate what she can wear and how often she can spend on her laptop prior to bedtime, and he also makes her diet and exercise on certain days of the week.
He’s incredibly controlling, and he only started making these crazy rules for her after she moved in with him.
She’s concerned about what new rules he’s going to come up with when they’re married for a couple of years.
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