She Wants To Ask Her Boyfriend To Start Splitting Expenses Based On Their Income Instead Of Equally Because He Now Makes Double Her Salary
This 32-year-old woman recently asked her partner of 12 years, 33, if they could alter how much each of them financially contributes to their expenses.
A year into their relationship, they moved in together, and from then on, they’ve each contributed 50%, but she would like the distribution to more fairly reflect their salaries.
While they aren’t married because neither of them has the desire to get married or feels like it’s necessary, they are as committed as a married couple would be.
“We decided to go 50/50 on everything: rent, groceries, bills, furniture, and entertainment. Obviously, we paid for our own ‘fun extras’ for ourselves, but anything that was for us was split,” she said.
When she and her partner first moved in together, they were at the start of their careers.
Over time, her partner did an apprenticeship and moved up the ladder into a supervisor position. She has also grown in her career throughout the years as well.
Her partner makes twice the amount he used to, and while she has seen growth in her earnings, too, they’re not as drastic as his have been.
At the beginning of their careers, her partner was making about $45,000 per year, while she was making $36,000. Now, he’s earning $100,000 per year, and she earns $50,000.
“He’s in a union, so after deductions, his take-home amount is adjusted, as is mine with taxes,” she explained.
sepy – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
They live in the middle of Toronto, so the cost of living is extremely high. She and her partner go out to eat at restaurants about once a week, they attend shows once a month, and they go to other events around the city sometimes.
Currently, the idea of buying a house is out of the question due to the cost, but they have always made the most out of where they are in their lives, focusing on hanging out and doing exciting things together.
However, she doesn’t have much money left over once she contributes her half to their monthly expenses, even when she does her best to save as much as possible.
She can’t afford to get a haircut, buys almost all of her clothing at thrift stores, walks, does a bike share, or takes the subway for transportation, yet she hasn’t been able to save up any money.
On the plus side, she doesn’t have a lot of debt, but it’s frustrating that she’s not able to save anything because of how much she has to contribute to living expenses.
“All the while, he’s gotten to live a bit more comfortably. He did have other expenses, like a truck he just paid off and the insurance that comes with that. But he’s able to clothe himself with brand new stuff, purchase tech, and have a growing vinyl collection. I’ve gotten to my wit’s end,” she shared.
Despite loving and caring about him deeply and adoring the life they’ve built, she’s acknowledged that in order to keep the life they have, she has to put in so much effort to contribute financially.
Because of this, she hasn’t had the emotional energy or the time to focus on their relationship, which she believes has led to tension between them.
After expressing her financial stress, her partner brought up the idea of venturing on a new career path that would provide her with a higher salary, and he told her to maybe try looking into a trade.
But she doesn’t think that type of career would be something she could excel in. She has been in her chosen career for the last 16 years, and she has gained a lot of knowledge in the field. In addition, her current income is on the higher end of the salary range for her job.
In her view, if her partner won’t agree to split their essential expenses (rent, utilities, groceries, and internet) according to their respective incomes, she thinks it would be better if she were to cope with the financial stress alone so that she wouldn’t have to be concerned about how it’s affecting someone else.
While she wants a fairer distribution of these expenses, she is perfectly fine still continuing to split other expenses 50/50.
She’s planning to ask her partner about this, but she’s scared that he will see her request as an ultimatum and that the way he’ll interpret it is if they don’t come up with a different way to split their expenses, then she’s going to break up with him.
But honestly, she is so tired.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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