She Isn’t Ready To Adopt The Child She’s Fostering, Even Though The Agency Is Pressuring Her To
People who opt to be foster parents are amazing. The way people open their homes to children going through an extremely difficult time is selfless and a very difficult job.
While many foster parents decide to adopt their foster kids or become legal guardians, others prefer to remain solely foster parents.
One woman is unsure of what to do after the agency that brought her the longest foster child she’s ever had began pressuring her to become his legal guardian.
She’s been a foster parent for a few years now. She’s single and has no kids of her own. Other than being a foster mom, she works a job with a decent income that allows her to live comfortably.
She’s had one boy who came to her as a foster child when she first started her journey as a foster parent, and he’s been with her ever since.
“I’ve had several others in the home while I’ve had him, but they’ve all gone back to their parents while he’s been with me this entire time,” she said.
“He calls my parents grandma and grandpa and all of my siblings and their kids’ aunts, uncles, and cousins. We’ve all made a point to make him feel [like] part of the family while he’s been with me. This is the first time in his life he’s stayed in one place for so long and with the same person. This is also the longest he’s been in one school.”
Recently, the agency that placed this boy with her has started pressuring her into becoming his legal guardian, which would be a better situation than adopting him. They’re aware of how comfortable he is in her home, how long he’s been there, etc.
However, she’s on the fence as to whether or not she should become her foster child’s legal guardian for several reasons.
Photo 75823012 © Nataliia Prokofyeva – Dreamstime.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
For one, he has been diagnosed with several disorders, which can make his behavior quite erratic and violent at times.
“His extreme emotions have been putting a toll on me,” she explained.
“He can be doing so good and then have an episode that’ll last for weeks at a time. From him breaking toys to furniture, stealing to harming my animals, and also getting in trouble at school where I have to leave work constantly to pick him up, I don’t think I’d be able to have him permanently.”
On top of all that, she doesn’t think she could afford all of the doctor and therapist appointments he needs, as well as the medications he has to take on her own.
While she doesn’t think her foster child should stay with her permanently, she’s in a tough position because the agency told her that if she doesn’t follow through with becoming his guardian, they’ll place him in another home. She really loves the kid and doesn’t want to make him start fresh with new foster parents, but the situation is complicated.
“I don’t like how they’re trying to strong-arm me into complying, either,” she added.
“In my opinion, how things are right now is fine. I get breaks, I’m getting paid, and I know it sounds awful, but I like knowing if things get too much with him, he can go elsewhere. I’ve had to have that conversation with them before about finding a different placement, but it has never come to that.”
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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