She’s Seriously Fed Up With Being Both The Breadwinner And Carrying The Bulk Of Childcare Responsibilities, But She Feels Like It’s Impossible To Communicate With Her Husband
This woman works in a full-time position as the director of nursing at a hospice company.
She is the breadwinner for her family and always has been.
Nine years ago, her husband worked quite a lot of hours while she was focused on her schooling.
She escalated her classes and earned her degree in less than two years.
But for the past 9 years, she has been the breadwinner, and now she’s emotionally burnt out because she feels like she does all the labor for her family without any real recognition. She doesn’t feel like her husband appreciates all the time and energy she puts in.
Over the course of her career, she has focused more on accepting positions with higher pay rather than finding jobs that she’d enjoy more.
But she believes it’s financially paid off.
She and her husband now have two children together, both of whom are under 6 years old.
For the past year, she was working two jobs, but it took a toll on her physical well-being.
Fabio – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Eventually, she was able to stick with just one full-time job, and she then accepted a promotion.
Throughout the last several years, she and her husband have started flipping homes and had a lot of success with it.
Not long ago, her husband made the decision to quit the job he held for over 12 years because he despised it.
After resigning from his job, he delved into investing in real estate.
Unfortunately, when he quit his job, he lost the inheritance that his company offered its employees, and her company didn’t offer this benefit.
In her view, it was important for her husband to try to find a passion that brought him the happiness that he seemed to be missing from his life. She felt like he had so many talents that he was squandering in an unfulfilling career.
Because of these thoughts she’d had over the years, she was extremely supportive of her husband’s choice to resign from his job.
Plus, since her husband’s job always seemed to make him irritable, she was hopeful that his new career ventures would make him more upbeat and cheerful.
“So, now things are tight, and I’m still the breadwinner. As he’s been struggling, I also do 90% of our kids’ activities, school pick-up, dance, gymnastics, groceries, house, holiday planning, and doctor’s appointments. He does help with laundry. As he feels that’s the easiest way for him to help out,” she said.
In the past, she was usually able to work out at the gym from time to time. But now that her husband quit his job, she’s too busy with her job, housework, and childcare.
She believes that her husband prioritizes his own free time and his own career more than anything else, and these seem to be the most important things to him.
Her husband doesn’t seem grateful for how hard she works or the amount of time she spends taking care of their family.
Obviously, she doesn’t think this is fair because she’s the only one currently earning an income while also doing the majority of unpaid labor at home.
Whenever they’ve been stretched thin financially, she is the only one willing to get a second job to bring in more money or look for a different job to earn a higher wage.
“He goes boating, on overnight trips, to real estate events, and just expects me to be there 100% to allow him to go. Our babysitter called off sick today. I had planned and told my boss I’d be at the office. My husband had a morning meeting, but that was it,” she explained.
While her husband was at his meeting, his mother took care of their son while their other child was at school.
Once his meeting was done, he returned home so that he could relieve his mother from her babysitting duties.
When she came home from work, she noticed how cold and aloof her husband was behaving, all because he was upset that he had to take care of their children after his meeting.
“I’m just so over it all. If I bring up anything, he just FREAKS out, yelling and screaming, or gives me the silent treatment. Communicating with him isn’t even possible most times,” she shared.
Even though her husband is irritable the majority of the time, he does and buys whatever he wants.
Her husband often goes out to eat, gets his hair cut, purchases clothes for his new job, and buys nicotine, all without a care in the world.
On the other hand, whenever she wants to buy something, she asks her husband if it’s okay with him, and they usually end up arguing about it.
She doesn’t have any family members who are able to help her.
The babysitter she hired takes care of their children three times a week in four-hour increments, and her husband has whined about how much it costs for them to pay the babysitter.
Since their son has health problems, they can’t send him to daycare.
She knows that she could never resign from her job in order to be a stay-at-home mother because they would financially crumble without her income.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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