She’s Advising Parents To Stop Treating Their Toddlers Like Teens Under The Guise Of Gentle Parenting
In theory, gentle parenting is an approach that features showing empathy for kids, which will help them gain confidence and high self-esteem, resulting in strong parent-child relationships.
However, it seems that many parents out there are confusing gentle parenting with relinquishing all control.
TikToker Ali-Marie (@alimariehere_) is a therapist now turned stay-at-home mom, and if you’re a parent to young children, she’s warning you to stop treating your toddlers how you wished you had been treated as a teenager.
In many online gentle parenting groups, she’s seeing parents asking for advice on how to get their 8-year-olds or 12-year-olds to listen to them.
According to Ali-Marie, it’s much harder to change negative behaviors or enact discipline when kids reach those ages.
She claims that setting boundaries at an early age is key. Parenting is not all about constant collaboration. Sometimes, “no” is just not an option. You can’t always give your child a choice in the matter.
“If they do not listen on the first time of asking, you go and you help them make it happen,” she said. Negotiating with your child every time will not make parenting easier or improve your child’s well-being in the long run. As a trusted authority figure, you need to put your foot down.
She added that when you have a child under the age of six, they need strong guidance and leadership. Give them consistent expectations and simple rules they are held accountable to, along with lots of love and affection.
“The best teachers will start their year with really strict rules, and then as the year progresses, they loosen up on the rules,” explained Ali-Marie.
Valerii Apetroaiei – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“But if a teacher starts with really loose rules at the beginning of the year, they will never get a hold on that classroom.”
She noted that it is possible to switch up your parenting strategies at any stage of your kid’s childhood. However, it’s significantly easier to rein in your child if you build the foundation early on.
In the comments section, many TikTok users stated that a lot of parents who think they’re practicing gentle parenting are actually letting their kids walk all over them.
“Gentle parenting is just parenting without shaming your kids. You still have to enforce boundaries,” pointed out one user.
“I work as a counselor for HS students, and parents are trying to gain control for the first time at 14. It’s too late. They aren’t going to listen,” declared another.
“As a kindergarten teacher, I cannot agree MORE!!! A huge part of the behavioral issues at schools right now is due to permissive parenting,” shared a third.
@alimariehere_ Your toddler is not ?? a ?? teenager ?? #parenting101 #parentingtoddlers #toddlerlife #momlife #boundaries #authoritativeparent #gentleparenting #momhacks #consistency #authoritativeparenting #askonce #respectfulparenting #momsoftiktok #consciousparenting #betheparent
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