She’s Transgender But Her Family Wants Her To Wear A Suit For Her Sister’s Wedding So She Still Appears Masculine To Everyone
It’s really sad to see parents not accepting, loving, or embracing their children for who they are. It’s even more painful when not only parents but siblings and other relatives cast aside or distance themselves from their family members due to their orientation or gender.
One woman, who is transgender, recently refused to wear a suit to her sister’s Roman Catholic wedding and has now found herself in a whirlwind of family drama.
She’s 29-years-old and began transitioning just under five years ago. Her parents are 71 and 67 years old, and she has an older sister who’s 32 and will be getting married soon.
“Because of my life choices, my family and I are fairly estranged,” she explained.
“…They have not accepted my transition and still commonly use my deadname, [my] male name, despite how I changed it nearly three years ago.”
While she’ll visit with her family a handful of times a year and exchange texts with them, she isn’t very close with them, as they treat her like the black sheep of the family, and at times, she feels like she’s the “family secret.” Therefore, most of her interactions with her family are superficial.
Her sister got engaged seven months ago, and she learned about it through social media instead of being told by her family.
Her sister will be having a traditional Roman Catholic wedding. Because she’s transgender, her sister hasn’t included her in the bridal party or any of the bridal events leading up to the wedding. She’s been left out of the wedding planning and was specifically asked not to try and participate in the ceremony.
“I was simply sent a save-the-date in the mail like any other normal wedding guest,” she said.
indiraswork – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“I was specifically told I was not going to be in the wedding party, and my partner was not welcome either. At this point, I’m just trying to be polite by still attending the wedding.”
The other day, less than two weeks before the day of the wedding, her mom texted her and asked her to wear a navy pantsuit to the wedding. She has zero interest in wearing pantsuits and knows she wouldn’t be able to find one that properly fits on such short notice.
She never had plans to make a scene by dressing inappropriately at the wedding. She was going to wear something nice, something any 30-year-old woman would wear as a wedding guest.
However, her parents suddenly started pushing her to wear something more masculine, hoping she would look more like a man in front of all the other wedding guests.
“I am very noticeably feminine,” she added.
“I have been transitioning for just under 5 years, and so [even] wearing a pantsuit, I’d still look quite feminine. But I know my parents want me to wear a suit because it’s acceptable clothing for what a ‘man’ would wear. Because my family went so out of their way to tell me how uninvolved I will be in this wedding, I think it’s wildly rude they suddenly want a say in how I dress and present myself.”
Now, she’s refusing to wear a pantsuit or any masculine clothing to her sister’s wedding, especially because of how little they want her to be involved in the wedding in the first place.
What would you do if you were in her position?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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