She Wouldn’t Donate A Kidney To Her Daughter With Kidney Failure Because She Thought Her Daughter Was Ungrateful And Didn’t Care That She Was Scared About The Surgery
This 38-year-old woman’s daughter, 21, is tragically experiencing kidney failure. They have barely been in contact over the last three years.
From her perspective, this is mostly because her daughter projected her health problems onto her. Plus, her daughter involved her in arguments she was having with her father, 38, and her stepmother, 31.
She is married to Ethan, 49, and the two of them have spent hundreds of dollars on her daughter’s therapy bills. In her view, her daughter’s behavior didn’t improve, and she continued to act “bitter” and “difficult.”
In her marriage with Ethan, they have two sons together, who are 9 and 11. When she looks back on when she was pregnant with her daughter, she realizes that she had to make sacrifices in relation to the future of her career. In response to her getting pregnant so young, her parents disowned her.
“But then, Ethan helped me get a degree in accounting and also a real estate license. I have connections from Ethan that are helping me do nearly six figures in real estate commissions, and I just joined an accounting firm that hired me based on the client connections I have from Ethan,” she said.
After becoming more established in her career, she has been working 50 hours a week, but she doesn’t mind working this much because she’s thrilled to be making six figures. Ethan has his own business and now works remotely, which has been convenient.
Her daughter reached out not long ago because she is searching for someone willing to donate a kidney. Prior to this, her daughter hardly kept in touch for the last few years.
“I made the mistake of letting friends know about her situation, and everybody I know from my mommy groups from when my daughter was born started dogpiling on me, saying, ‘You have to do this, mamma,’ and like I’d be held down to get my kidney. Because of this pressure, despite Ethan saying no, I went to the doctor and found out I was a match,” she explained.
Once she learned this, she attempted to contact her daughter’s father to find out if he was also a match. However, her daughter’s stepmother was already against the idea of him donating a kidney.
Jacob Lund – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
When her daughter asked her father if he would be willing to donate a kidney, her stepmother screamed at her that her father had a family to support.
Her stepmother went on to say that she had some nerve making this request of a father with people counting on him.
Because of this, her ex told her that he was obligated to prioritize his wife and the children they have together so he wouldn’t be getting tested to see if he was a match.
It became clear that her ex, her daughter, and the mothers she reached out to all felt like she should be the one to donate her kidney. But she expressed to her daughter that she’s terrified of surgery.
In addition, she’s concerned about how new she is to her current career, and she doesn’t know if it would be a good idea to take so much time off of work to have this procedure and then heal. If she started working again too soon, she would be in a lot of physical pain.
“She replied, asking, ‘Doesn’t Ethan make a lot of money?’ I told her again how risky surgery was, and she said, echoing my friends, ‘I don’t care–this isn’t about you,'” she shared.
“I was so furious from that conversation that, when I went to see the doctor, and the doctor asked if somebody was coercing me, I told him that at this point, I’d rather die than continue to serve my ungrateful, rude daughter.”
During this talk with the doctor, she went on to say that she felt like she was being pressured to donate her kidney.
She added that if she went through with the procedure, she predicted that she would feel intense bitterness toward her daughter, and she would also resent the doctors if she awoke from surgery and experienced physical pain.
Right after this, the doctor told her that she would not be considered a compatible donor, letting her know that it would be awful for her to feel as if she was “a prisoner.”
Later, she updated her friend group and Ethan on what the doctor told her. Ethan asked her if she was alright, reminding her that he and their sons rely on her. Then, her friends were irate with her decision not to donate her kidney to her daughter.
They publicly called her out on social media, asking “‘What kind of mother?'” would do something like that.
Some of her friends begged her to go back to the doctor to claim that she hadn’t been honest before and assure them that she now wanted to donate her kidney.
Also, they suggested that she sign a form and notarize it in order to confirm that she has not been pressured into the procedure.
Do you think she was wrong to refuse to donate a kidney to her daughter?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Relationships
