After Agreeing To Be A Bridesmaid In Her Friend’s Wedding, Her Friend Asked Her To Cut Her Hair So She Wouldn’t “Steal Attention,” But She Refused And Got Booted From The Event
This 26-year-old woman’s parents, particularly her mother, enforced strict rules when she was a young girl.
“I was not allowed to wear ‘inappropriate’ outfits (e.g., shorts, skirts, anything revealing), have a boyfriend, no wearing of makeup, and no long hair. I was nicknamed Dora at school because of my bangs and bob haircut. I always envied the other girls who could dress up, wear makeup, style their hair, and feel pretty,” she said.
When she grew up and gained independence, she took advantage of this newfound freedom to do whatever she wanted. She purchased clothes that she felt beautiful in, played around with makeup and skincare products, and grew her hair long.
Currently, her hair drapes down her back and waist, almost reaching her hips. In order to achieve this, she’s been taking vitamins, eating a balanced diet, and purchasing haircare products to keep her hair soft and silky.
She’s put a lot of time and money into growing her hair out, which was something she always dreamed of when she was younger. Her long hair makes her feel confident, and since it is long, she’s finally able to braid it like she always hoped she could someday.
While in college, she met her close friend, Maria, 25. Over the last several years, they’ve developed a close bond. Maria has constantly complimented her hair, and they’ve often given each other hair and skincare advice. On occasion, they’d treat themselves together by spending the day at the salon. Since they’ve grown so close, when Maria asked her to be a bridesmaid, she happily accepted.
“However, a few days ago, she pulled me aside and asked me if I could cut my hair for her wedding. She said she didn’t want my hair to steal people’s attention away from her during her wedding,” she explained.
Since Maria was the one getting married, she was baffled that Maria was concerned that she would take the focus away from her. When she questioned how the focus would be on her, Maria responded, claiming that because she had fun with putting her hair in eye-catching braids, she would stand out, and guests would ask her questions about how she styled her hair that way and what she did to keep her hair so long and healthy.
After Maria told her this, she felt bad and reflected on how often she’d talked about her hair and given out haircare tips to friends. But the only reason she talks about it so much is because she missed out on the fun of doing her hair and makeup and wearing fun clothes when she was a child and a teenager.
Dmitry Tsvetkov – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She told Maria she was sorry and assured her that she wouldn’t discuss her hair during the wedding but clarified that she wouldn’t be comfortable with cutting her hair.
As a compromise, she told Maria that she could style her hair in a bun so that she didn’t draw any attention to herself, even though she didn’t think there was any possibility she would have taken the focus away from Maria in the first place.
“She said no, and she really wants me to cut it. She gave me an ultimatum that I could either cut my hair or choose not to attend her wedding. I chose not to attend the wedding,” she shared.
After she made her decision, their mutual friends told her she was a jerk because they thought she was prioritizing her hair over her friendship with Maria. In their view, her haircut was temporary, and her hair would grow back, but there wasn’t a guarantee that she and Maria would ever resolve their issues and become friends again.
In her view, wearing a bun should have been an acceptable way of compromising with Maria’s concerns. She has no desire to cut her hair, and Maria pressuring her to do so is reminiscent of the way her parents treated her. The situation with Maria brought back memories she has of her mother cutting her hair while she sobbed.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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