He And His Wife Have An Open Marriage, But His Wife’s New Man Is Upset That He Reads Their Steamy Messages
About a month ago, this 27-year-old man and his 27-year-old wife decided it would be best for them to open up their marriage.
They talked a lot about this topic before moving forward, and they made sure to pick a couple of rules to adhere to.
The rules were very straightforward: any romantic interests needed to be sympathetic to the situation, and also needed to respect each of them.
His wife quickly found a match named Andy on a dating app, and she’s getting along great with him. He honestly is an Andy fan, as Andy is respectful of his marriage and is down to let him have photos and videos of his wife spending time with him.
For the last several weeks, his wife and Andy have met up once weekly, and they text a lot every single day.
“Here’s where the issue lies: I enjoy reading their text messages. Early on, when they first started messaging, I asked her if I could read them, mostly because it turns me on seeing her flirt…with another guy,” he explained.
“She said that that’s totally fine and that I shouldn’t feel bad about it…she even set up an old iPad of hers to receive her messages so I could read them anytime without having to use her phone. It wasn’t an issue at all.”
“I was also clear with her that she could, of course, read mine anytime, but she said she just doesn’t care to. No biggie. About a week ago, she had mentioned to him when they were together that reading their messages is something that I do, and he had said to her that he felt that was kind of controlling, and he didn’t really like that.”
His wife filled him in after she was done seeing Andy, but he responded that he doesn’t care at all if it makes Andy uneasy that he reads the messages between them.
Victoria Chudinova – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
He doesn’t believe Andy should have a say, as he’s not involved in their marriage. His wife was on his side, and they dropped the matter.
Over the last couple of days, Andy hasn’t been texting his wife as much. His wife has been getting worried about this, so she asked Andy if something was wrong.
Andy mentioned to his wife that he no longer feels comfortable sending her steamy messages or flirting, knowing that their messages are not private and kept between the two of them. Andy then requested that his wife ask him to no longer read their texts.
“Now, to be clear, I don’t read them because I don’t trust her or anything like that,” he said. “I literally just think it’s hot.”
“Most of the time, I just ask her what they talk about, and she tells me or shows me. But she called me today to ask me to stop reading their messages, and I said no. Not because I don’t trust her, but because we had already agreed that it was ok, and he either needs to be comfortable with it or he can get bent.”
“She did not like this. She started accusing me of being too controlling and not trusting her! She said that since it makes him uncomfortable, it makes her uncomfortable and so I should stop. I said that him asking for privacy from me makes me uncomfortable and makes me trust him less, so maybe we should cut things off.”
He actually was just arguing with his wife over the phone about the messages and then they hung up the call.
He’s left wondering if he really is being too controlling after all and what he should do moving forward.
What do you think?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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