His Sister Called Him Out For “Tricking” His Soon-To-Be Ex-Wife Into Giving Him More Money In The Divorce By Acting Like He Knew About Her Affair When He Served Her Their Divorce Papers
This 34-year-old man and his wife, Alice, have been married for seven years. Two years ago, Alice distanced herself and didn’t want to sleep with him anymore.
Whenever he planned dates, she would cancel, and when he scheduled couples therapy appointments, she would cancel on the day of their sessions.
Since she refused to go to therapy together, he went to individual sessions, and it’s been incredibly beneficial for him. Over the last two years, Alice has become extremely critical and unaffectionate.
“I would get home, and she would just tear me apart and judge everything from how crooked my shoes are in the shoe cubby to how salty dinner is when I cook it,” he said.
Throughout their marriage, he and Alice both worked, and he cooked their meals most of the time. He enjoys cooking because it is a calming and healing experience for him.
After dealing with Alice’s cruelty for two years, he contacted a lawyer to discuss filing for divorce. It was obvious to him that Alice was just as unhappy in their marriage as he was.
During a meeting, his lawyer explained how a 50/50 no-fault divorce would play out regarding all of their assets.
He and Alice would each keep a vehicle, and they would sell their home, slipping the equity of the sale in half.
They would also keep their own retirement accounts. This sounded reasonable to him because it would be relatively amicable, and they could both move forward and go their own ways, so he requested that his lawyer draft up divorce papers.
anatoliycherkas – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Unfortunately, Alice has often had anger problems. Two months ago, he planned to inform Alice about filing for divorce, and he recorded their discussion on his phone in case things got heated.
At the beginning of their talk, he expressed that it was evident that both of them were miserable, so it didn’t make sense to continue their marriage.
“Alice then shocked me with her first question. ‘How long did you know?’ I didn’t know what she thought I knew, but I played along and said, ‘Since the beginning.’ ‘You knew for half a year and didn’t say anything?’ she said. I have to say, I was very emotionally divorced from this woman already, partially thanks to a good amount of therapy, so I kept playing along,” he explained.
In response, he asked her, “‘Why him of all people?'” Then, Alice confessed that a man named Frank, her boss at work, supported her, and everyone at work thought he was endearing.
As the conversation progressed, he continued playing along, which led to Alice giving him his phone, evidently as a form of surrender because she thought he’d already found out about her affair.
When he looked through Alice’s phone, he took screenshots of the interactions she had with Frank and sent them to his email so that he had the proof.
While they talked, Alice never cried or pleaded with him, but he could tell that she was depressed. Eventually, she packed her bags and left to stay somewhere else.
Once she was gone, he sent the screenshots and recording of the conversation with Alice to his lawyer, and they later spoke on the phone.
He and his lawyer changed their strategy, and instead of asking for a 50/50 split of his and Alice’s assets, they thought that he should keep the house, both vehicles, and all of the money from their joint bank accounts.
In their state, both no-fault and fault divorces are legal, and he and Alice signed a prenuptial agreement that included an infidelity clause.
While he and his lawyer had the option of fighting for a 90/10 split, that had almost no possibility of being agreed to, so they chose to go with a 65/35 split, which they had a more likely chance of achieving.
His lawyer wrote up the divorce papers and sent them to Alice, who found her own lawyer. Because Alice thought he already knew about her affair, she assumed that he had a ton of proof that he’d gathered on his own, so she didn’t ask her lawyer to contest what he and his lawyer were asking for in the division of assets, and she signed the papers and agreed to the terms. They are in the midst of the divorce, and it will be finalized soon.
Recently, his sister, Sam, 31, ran into Alice while grocery shopping. Prior to this, he’d told Sam about the issues he and Alice had within their marriage, informing her that he was hoping for a 50/50 split.
He hadn’t yet updated her about Alice having an affair and his change of plans with the way their assets would be divvied up.
While Sam and Alice talked, Alice mentioned that she’d been unfaithful, and Sam was stunned and baffled by this information.
Afterward, Sam called him and questioned whether he’d known that Alice had been having an affair when he contacted a divorce lawyer.
He admitted that he hadn’t been aware of it, but Alice offered up the details on her own when he talked with her about filing for divorce, adding that he pretended he already knew to find out more details.
“Sam said she was disappointed in me using ‘mind games’ to trick Alice into agreeing to a less-than-even split in the divorce. Sam said it was stunts like these that are borderline ‘gaslighting,'” he shared.
Their state also enforces required “‘cool-off periods'” in divorce proceedings, so they are waiting until the period is over before the finalization of their divorce.
After Sam’s fury at what he did to learn more about Alice’s affair, he’s unsure if it was wrong for him to fight for more of their assets rather than stick with the 50/50 split. He doesn’t understand why his sister is so upset with him.
Do you think he was wrong?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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