He Gave His Fiancée An Ultimatum And Said That If His Mom Can’t Live With Them After They Tie The Knot, He’s Calling Off Their Wedding
Before he ended their engagement, this 26-year-old man and his ex-fiancée, 27, were in a relationship for four years. Then, he proposed, and she happily accepted his proposal. He’s an only child, and his mom is in her 60s.
When he was young, his mother filed for divorce from his abusive dad. After the divorce, his mom never found another partner and continued caring for him on her own. They had no other living family members, so he and his mother only had one other.
Throughout his relationship with his ex-fiancée, he clearly planned for his mom to live with them after marriage. Leading up to the breakup, they were discussing plans to purchase a house together, and he mentioned that he wanted to find a home with a spare bedroom for his mother.
“My ex-fiancée said that she did not want my mother living with us, and when I asked why she didn’t say anything when we were dating, she said that she thought I’d get over it and we could put her in a home,” he said.
He rejected her idea of having his mom live in a nursing home and was angry because, from his perspective, his mother welcomed his ex-fiancée like she was her daughter. His mom never behaved like the stereotypically impolite and mean mothers-in-law everyone fears.
During the conversation, he told his then-fiancée that if she wouldn’t allow his mom to move into their house with them, he wouldn’t marry her. She wouldn’t agree, so they ended their engagement.
Afterward, his ex-fiancée’s family members and friends told him he was a jerk, but he didn’t think their assessment made sense because he’d been up-front from the start of their relationship that he wanted his mom to live with them.
“Our family has a history of dementia, setting in around the early 60s, and my mother has started to show signs of forgetfulness. That’s why I want to keep her as close as possible. I will be the primary caregiver,” he explained.
Several years ago, his mom was in great health, but as time passed, she slowly started to take a turn, and he noticed signs of possible dementia. Luckily, his mom started and sold a company, so she has a lot of money in her savings account.
AlexGukalovUkraine – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
His mom owns two apartments; she lives in one and rents out the second to someone else. She has enough money to pay for treatment, and he plans to help her sell one of her apartments so that he can hire a nurse to care for her full-time as her health worsens. He’s not concerned about funding his mother’s healthcare since she already has the money.
“My ex-fiancée and I were never planning on having children, nor did I ever expect her to quit her job or stay at home to care for my mother. I understand it’ll be tough, and it should be my responsibility,” he shared.
Because his mom cared for him by herself and struggled, he thought it would be unfair for him to abandon her when she needed him most. He felt he needed to care for her like she cared for him.
When he and his ex-fiancée argued before breaking up, he tried to compromise and suggested purchasing a two-story house to have their own space while his mom lived on a different floor.
His ex-fiancée didn’t like this idea, though. The only option she was comfortable with was his mother staying in a nursing home.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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