He’s Considering Calling Off His Wedding Since His Fiancée Wants To Quit Her Job And Be A Stay-At-Home Housewife After They Get Married
A year ago, this 29-year-old man proposed to his 27-year-old fiancée named Kate, and they have been together for four years so far.
This upcoming July, he and Kate are set to get married. He does love Kate with all of his heart and is excited about spending the remainder of his life by her side.
However, there’s one not-so-little thing that’s making him get cold feet: Kate wants to quit her job and be a stay-at-home housewife as soon as they tie the knot, and he’s not alright with this.
He and Kate reside in a city with an extremely high cost of living. While he works full-time and takes home a pretty normal paycheck, Kate works full-time managing a clothing store and only makes alright money.
“Together, we earn enough to pay rent for a small flat, pay the bills, and have a small amount left over for some small luxuries (take-out, going to the movies, etc.),” he explained.
“It takes forever for us to make substantial savings, most of which are going to this wedding, but we are doing ok. But that is with two incomes. While I do earn more than her, it’s not megabucks more, and if we drop to just one income (presumably mine), we would just be surviving.”
“True, her salary isn’t anything glamorous, but it’s enough to help pay the bills and add to the savings pot. In the area we live, it will be tough if we lose her income.”
It was right after New Year’s when he and Kate were hanging out on their couch and discussing what their lives will be like after their summer wedding.
At this moment, Kate sprung the concept on him of turning into a traditional housewife post walking down the aisle.
K Abrahams/peopleimages.com – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Kate said she wanted to stay at home, perform all of their chores, clean, cook, and do whatever it is he wants to fulfill his needs.
He pointed out that it sounds like she just wants to be a housewife, but Kate insisted that a traditional housewife goes above and beyond your basic housewife since a traditional housewife does absolutely everything possible to care for her husband and home.
He still doesn’t see the difference, but that’s beside the point. He was so taken aback by Kate wanting to quit her job to stay at home since Kate has never indicated to him in the four years that they have been together she’s interested in an arrangement like this.
When they have talked about kids in the past, Kate brought up wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, which he is on board for when their future kids are small, as the cost of childcare is presumably more than Kate even makes. But staying home without kids to care for makes no sense to him.
“More to the point, the idea of her just staying home all day cleaning and cooking is a bit strange to me when we live in such a small place,” he said.
“Between the two of us, we can clean the whole flat in half a day; it takes me about half an hour to vacuum and mop all floors, for example. When I self-processed that, I thought she was joking, but she was dead serious.”
“I was then very surprised and asked her what made her suddenly desire to just stay at home and not work. To my shock, she said Tiktok of all things. Apparently, there are videos and Tiktokers that are these tradwifes that talk about how great the lifestyle is and how happy their marriages are. These tradwifes claim their husbands are always happy and home life is the best. So, Kate wants that for us too.”
He informed Kate that this would not make him happy at all before reminding her it makes absolutely no sense for her to stay home and clean all day, given that they live in a tiny place and have no children.
He then said to Kate there is no way they can afford to exist if she quits her job. He knows Kate isn’t making great money, but it’s something, and it does go towards them being able to maintain their lifestyle as it is.
Kate shrugged, so he figured that was the end of the conversation, and she was ok with him not being on board with her dream.
A couple of days later, Kate brought it up again, and he shut her down once more. This time, he attempted to dig into why Kate suddenly had a change of heart, but he couldn’t get to the bottom of it.
Kate just insisted it would be the best thing for their marriage if she stays at home. Ever since, Kate has routinely been bringing the topic up, much to his dismay.
Kate is inflexible and unwavering in her pursuit of stay-at-home after their wedding day, and he finally watched a few of the videos Kate talked about that showed what the lifestyle was like.
“…I’m sorry, but they come across as really creepy,” he added. “There is this one blonde lady who I swear is one microchip away from going full Stepford wife.”
“I have no problems with housewives in terms of if you live in a huge house and you really can live on one income, but that is not the case for us. More to the point, a housewife seems to be doing something outside the home: doing volunteer work, being a part of a club or society, etc, to fill the time. These tradwifes seem to do nothing but dress like Lucille Ball and cook bread from scratch. It’s bizarre and not something I am looking for in a long-term partner.”
“Kate can not seem to let this go, and she’s become a bit obsessed. She starting to learn new recipes for her new married life as a tradwife but keeps complaining that she doesn’t have time to feed us both properly as a new family because of her job (I told her to do these fancy things on the weekend, but she just shot back she should have all the time), she keeps following these Tiktokers and is starting to get new clothes more fitting for a “tradwife” lifestyle.”
He will not ever agree with Kate quitting her job to stay at home, and he can’t take much more of this since she’s unwilling to listen to his side.
Things have gotten so out of hand that he is honestly considering calling off their wedding. Kate has always had a job since he’s known her, and he doesn’t expect him to be this high-flying career-invested woman, but he does expect her to contribute to their household expenses with a job. Any job.
He also wants his wife to be his equal, and the whole housewife thing doesn’t come across like that to him. He’s creeped out and believes there’s a reason the housewife thing died out in the 1950s.
“Should I call off the wedding?” he wondered. “I am honestly at a loss for what to do. Kate seems committed to doing this tradwife thing, and I am…just not.”
“My best mate tells me now that I’ve reached the point of not wanting to get married anymore that I at least need to really sit down with Kate and tell her straight up where my head is at, but I’ve tried to talk to her before, and she doesn’t budge.”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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