She Told Her Boyfriend That She’s Tired Of Hearing About His “First Love,” His Late Fiancée, And Walked Out Of A Dinner With His Family After She Was Brought Up Again

aspenphoto - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
aspenphoto - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

When you date someone who is widowed or lost their last partner under tragic circumstances, you have to be extra sensitive to how they handle things in their personal lives. However, it can often be difficult not to compare yourself to the person they lost and stand up for yourself.

One woman recently told her boyfriend she was tired of hearing about his late partner, whom he calls his “first love,” because she felt like his second choice.

She is 25 and has been dating her 28-year-old boyfriend, Kasey, for a year. He has a seven-year-old son named Billy, who he had with his late fiancée, Hilda. Hilda passed away around four years ago when she was only 23 and Billy was three.

While she was the first girlfriend Kasey had since losing Hilda, their relationship has been going quite well and she plans on moving in with him and Billy soon.

However, there is one issue with their relationship, and she isn’t sure how to go about it without ruining her and Kasey’s love for each other.

“I have been respectful of Kasey’s love for Hilda [as] they were together since she was 14 and he was 15,” she explained.

“His friends and family still talk about her sometimes. Everyone would call Hilda his ‘first love’ [and] it makes me a bit upset because I am right here. For example, if we watch a movie or go out to eat, they might say, ‘I remember Hilda loved that movie,’ or ‘This was one of Hilda’s favorite restaurants.’ I don’t say anything because I don’t want to be rude; I just acknowledge it. It makes me feel like I’m not welcomed or acknowledged as if I’m not there.”

While she doesn’t want to disrespect Kasey or Hilda’s memory, the way he and his family talk about her makes her feel like she’s a rebound for him and isn’t good enough. 

Not only is Hilda constantly talked about, but there are still photos of her all around Kasey’s house. He carries pictures of Hilda and Billy in his wallet, and there are photos of them as family everywhere.

aspenphoto – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

While she understands keeping these photos of Hilda around is important for Billy, they make her a bit uncomfortable, especially since there’s only one photo of her in their home.

 “I don’t plan on ever asking him to remove those pictures, of course, [but] I told Kasey I didn’t want to keep hearing about her because he gets upset when he hears about my ex,” she explained.

“Kasey apologized and has stopped bringing her up, for which I am grateful. However, we recently had a family dinner at his older sister Riley’s house with his mom, his nephews, Billy, and me. It was going great; we were talking about our future and how everyone was doing until his mom started telling a funny story about Kasey when he was young. She said, ‘”Hilda loved to hear stories about Kasey,’ “and she and Riley started laughing. After hearing that, I excused myself and left in my car.”

When she got home, she had messages from Kasey, wondering where she was and what happened. She explained once again via text that she was tired of hearing about Hilda. Kasey left her text on ‘read’ and hasn’t responded, even though it’s been two days.

Now, she’s unsure what the future holds for her relationship with Kasey.

Was it wrong of her to want Kasey to stop talking about Hilda, or should she have been more respectful?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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