He Broke Up With His Girlfriend Because She Became Really Self-Loathing, And He Doesn’t Think You Can Love Someone If You Don’t Love Yourself

nenetus - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
nenetus - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This man was in a relationship, but he recently had to break up with his girlfriend because of how terribly she viewed herself.

Apparently, she had progressively become more self-loathing throughout their relationship, and by the end, he just couldn’t deal with her constantly complaining and insulting herself anymore.

“She wasn’t like this when we started dating, but various factors in her life caused it. Not getting a promotion she worked hard for was a big factor,” he recalled.

To be clear, he did try to be there for his girlfriend whenever she was feeling down – doing his best to cheer her up. Oftentimes, his efforts worked, too.

More recently, though, she just started dismissing him whenever he attempted to give her compliments. She also began claiming that there was no point in him taking her out to places that used to cheer her up.

“And she would speak harshly about herself, calling herself stupid or worthless at the slight or even no provocation,” he added.

He tried telling his girlfriend that she should talk to a therapist, but she always turned down the idea and said it wasn’t worth it. That’s why, about a month later, he finally decided to call it quits in their relationship.

“I am a firm believer that you can’t love someone if you hate yourself. I spent a decade and a half alone trying to come to terms with my own self-loathing because I was toxic when I tried to have a relationship,” he explained.

His girlfriend knew about his perspective on this before their relationship started, too. So, he wound up telling her that he just couldn’t be with her if she wasn’t able to believe that she needed some help.

nenetus – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

He clarified that he really doesn’t think his girlfriend stopped loving him due to her struggles.

“But I do know that you can’t be in a healthy relationship if you refuse to make yourself healthy,” he reasoned.

Despite that, people in his life have had some mixed reactions regarding his breakup. Some people understood his thought process, while others think he should’ve stood by his girlfriend’s side because he loved her and she’d eventually get through this.

So now, he’s been left wondering if breaking up with his girlfriend due to her mental health struggles was justified or just made him a jerk.

Do you agree with his perspective on the importance of self-love for healthy relationships? Did he do the right thing by breaking up with his girlfriend or not? What would you have done?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.

Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

More About: