His Fiancée Admitted She Doesn’t Want To Settle Down For Another 10 Years, And He’s Worried This Means They’re Over
Three years ago, this 36-year-old man began dating his 26-year-old fiancée, and all along, they have discussed what their shared future will look like.
They’ve talked about their goals, having kids together and getting pets. To be honest, everything matched up so perfectly, that’s why he was inspired to propose to her after only a year and a half of dating.
They moved in with one another, and their relationship was excellent up until six months ago when his fiancée started a new job. She used to be a teacher, but now she’s working for the government.
His fiancée moved out so she could live closer to her job, and he’s now trying to find a position closer to her new place.
She absolutely has a brighter future with her job than he does, so he doesn’t mind having to get a new one.
This is literally the job of her dreams, but it will take her three or four years of fierce training, so his fiancée is expected to log a lot of hours on and off the clock.
The upside in all of this is that his fiancée isn’t located so far away that they can’t still spend a lot of time together.
They also talk on the phone every day, so although it’s not ideal and sometimes it’s draining, they’re doing a good job of managing their new situation.
“One of the things we pride ourselves on in our relationship is communicating,” he explained. “If one person has an issue or problem, we tell the other, and we talk it out.”
Evrymmnt – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Now, back when he and his fiancée got engaged, they discussed a date for their wedding before 2024 concluded, but they have not set one so far.
Last night, he asked his fiancée about what date she would like to pick, and she shocked him by saying she thinks they should wait three years until her career training is complete.
That’s far different than what they have discussed in the past, as they anticipated tying the knot by the end of next year.
He then questioned his fiancée about her timeline for having children with him, and she mentioned most likely she will be ready in her mid-30s, as she wants to be more established in her career before becoming a mom.
The problem is that he’s not interested in waiting another 10 years to be a dad, and he voiced his concern to her.
That will make him 60 when his kids graduate from high school, and he’s worried he won’t even be alive to see his kids through their 30s. He’s witnessed older parents up close and acknowledges that it’s difficult.
“I reminded her I’m 10 years older, and I think despite it normally being a joke between us, it may have only now clicked to her,” he said.
Since he and his fiancée were on their way to grab dinner with their friends, their conversation was cut short, but they resolved to chat more at a later date.
When their night was over and they were getting ready to go to sleep, she wanted to know if he was angry with her, and he said he wasn’t.
He is delighted that his fiancée landed the job she’s dreamed of, and he knows it’s not fair to ask her to walk away from that and pick him as well as starting a family over her career. He would sooner dump her than allow her to sacrifice what she’s worked so hard for anyway.
But he’s left wondering what on earth he can do to resolve this with her.
“I love her very much,” he continued. “If we just don’t have kids, then I suppose that solves part of the issue, but we both have wanted kids from the start.”
“And I’m at the point where I’m looking to settle down, and she is now saying she does not want to for at least another 10 years. I love her, but Is the writing on [the] wall? How would you recommend handling this?”
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