He Confronted A Coworker For Hitting On His Wife, But Now Other Colleagues Are Calling Him Insecure

Friends Stock
Friends Stock - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a man in a suit walking through the city

This 32-year-old man and his wife, who’s 30, have been married for five years, and their relationship has always been solid. They also work at the same mid-sized company, just in different departments.

“We don’t work together directly, but we see each other around the office,” he said.

Only a couple of weeks ago, though, he found out some shocking news. One of their coworkers, Jake, had apparently been hitting on his wife.

He had no clue until his wife spilled the beans one evening. She seemed pretty uncomfortable and mentioned how Jake had been sending her very personal texts and excessively complimenting her appearance. Jake even asked her out for drinks after work, and she turned the guy down.

“When she told me about it, she seemed worried that it would escalate, and I could tell it made her feel really awkward,” he recalled.

So, he decided to confront Jake about the situation, and now, he’s not sure if he overreacted. He tried to avoid causing a scene. Yet, at the same time, he thought it was important to put Jake “in his place” and make it clear that his behavior was out of line, given they’re married and his wife was uncomfortable.

He ultimately pulled Jake aside during lunch one afternoon and claimed he knew about what his coworker had been doing. He also told Jake that it needed to stop.

“I didn’t yell or threaten him. I just laid it out clearly that his behavior wasn’t acceptable,” he explained.

Jake looked stunned, accused him of overreacting, and swore it was simply “harmless flirting.” Still, he didn’t back down, saying that if Jake continued behaving like that toward his wife, he’d escalate the situation to HR.

Friends Stock – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person – pictured above is a man in a suit walking through the city

His coworker quickly became distant with him at work after that, and a few days later, Jake began spreading rumors around their office about him. This led some other colleagues to approach him, ask what happened, and state that he should’ve just let it go.

He got accused of being insecure and possessive, and he thinks he’s created a hostile work environment for both himself and his wife. He doesn’t like that people they work closely with are suddenly treating them differently or doubting his professionalism.

That’s why he’s now questioning whether it was wrong to confront Jake like that. He genuinely believed he was doing the right thing by standing up for his wife and protecting their relationship.

“But now I feel like I’ve caused a huge mess at work,” he vented.

“My wife feels guilty, even though I told her it’s not her fault. She’s more upset about the tension it caused with my coworkers, but I honestly don’t regret confronting Jake.”

What would you do if your coworker was coming onto your spouse? Should he have gone to HR from the start?

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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