She’s Sick Of Working Her Heart Out And Having Nothing To Show For It
Ever since this 21-year-old girl was little, she was told that if she worked her hardest, she would be capable of incredible accomplishments. She’s an only child, and her parents immigrated to America from Asia.
She’s done everything possible to have the best grades. She even participated in sports and various competitions and won awards for that.
She used to have one extracurricular activity seven days a week. She got her first B back in her middle school honors math class, which really took a toll on her.
“My parents made it clear that was unacceptable, and I spent the whole day crying because I felt like a failure,” she explained.
“In high school, I sacrificed my mental health and sleep for the sake of my grades and extracurriculars because I so badly wanted to go to a top school for college. I got a high SAT score and poured myself into my application essays.”
“I graduated ranked 2nd in my whole class, and I still got rejected from every single school that I applied to, with the exception of two safety schools. Ultimately, I chose my least favorite option because it offered me the most money.”
She doesn’t feel bad about that, as college has proven to be a wonderful experience for her. But back then, when she got accepted, she was so unhappy to realize that she had worked her tail off and landed at a school that did not rank among the top 100 colleges in America.
After she made it to campus, everyone insisted it was excellent for her to be that “big fish” swimming in her small college pond.
She instantly landed a research opportunity and made it to the board of two separate clubs, and all of that meant a lot to her.
Jose Calsina – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person – pictured above a woman looks ahead with a serious expression
She then picked up a couple of internships in her industry of choice, all of them unpaid, as none of the paid programs she applied to accepted her.
So, she thought getting some knowledge in those unpaid positions had to account for something in the long run.
“I figured that I would have a better shot at getting paid opportunities with a more robust resume,” she said.
“This past summer, I took on another unpaid opportunity with the promise that it would lead to a full-time position in the spring. I worked hard to prove that I was worth the full-time position and got many compliments from my supervisor for my work.”
But a week ago, she was informed the company doesn’t have enough money to hire her, or anyone, full-time.
She’s graduating when this semester comes to an end, and she has sent her resume out for more than 150 full-time jobs.
They mostly pay poorly and are entry-level, but she got rejected from 5 places, and the rest never even bothered getting back to her.
She did have her cover letters and resume reviewed by multiple people, and she got help from career services at her college, so it’s not like those documents weren’t up to par.
“I’m not trying to sound ungrateful, and I know that I am incredibly privileged to even be able to afford to do things like unpaid internships or a ton of extracurriculars,” she added.
“At this point, I’m just so burnt out, and I can’t go on like this. I feel like I work so hard just to end up being mediocre.”
She’s even in a martial arts club at college geared towards amateurs, and she’s the worst one in her class.
She knows it’s wrong to compare herself to her peers, but when she looks around her, everyone is seeing success, even the martial arts club kids, and she’s not.
Her parents believe she should remain calm and stop thinking it’s personal, but she can’t do that when the rejections are piling up before her eyes.
“My parents came from poverty, and I feel like they are really doing well for themselves now,” she continued.
“The problem is many of their friends came from rich families, and many of them are currently ridiculously rich (like making millions of dollars annually, rich), so my parents still feel unsuccessful, and I feel like they’re trying to compete through me.”
“My dad keeps telling me about people he knows who became CEOs and tells me that I can be like them if I just keep working hard.”
“He says that if I work hard in my 20s, I can enjoy life when I’m older. I know they only mean well and come from a place of concern, but I’m really starting to resent my parents for all their expectations.”
Working so hard is exhausting, and she’s burnt out at only 21. She thinks she has “nothing to show” for a lifetime of hard work.
She’s envious of her friends who have parents who cut them slack while supporting their dreams.
Meanwhile, her mom and dad are quick to judge her passions, as they point out she will make no money from what she loves.
She’s not trying to change the world or be this extraordinary human being. She simply wants a normal life where she can make a decent amount of money without working herself into the ground.
“I want to be the most unremarkable person ever,” she continued. “Currently, the only thing keeping me going is knowing that once I can find a job, I can finally live life on my own terms instead of the way my parents have wanted.”
What advice do you have for her?
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