Her Husband Cheated, But He Won’t Let Her Have The Password To His Phone, Even Though That Was Her One Request
When your actions don’t have consequences, what’s to prevent you from misbehaving again? I think that’s the category this 34-year-old woman’s 33-year-old husband now falls into following his history of infidelity.
They’ve been married for 14 years so far, and they have two children. They met back in high school and got married three years later.
Quite sadly, her husband has cheated on her multiple times, and she believes this has to do with being her husband’s first.
She was with other guys before her husband, and she thinks he’s still somehow holding that against her and using that as his justification for stepping out.
Also, her husband wishes he could have had other experiences before marrying her, which clearly did not happen. He never got to be wild and free in his younger years, so he’s choosing to do that now.
“This has always been his excuse for cheating. That he “just had to get it out of his system,” she explained.
“Every time it’s happened, he tells me that it was a mistake, that he loves me, that he wants to be with me, that he wants to keep the family we made together.”
Then, two months ago, she uncovered her husband’s latest affair. But by then, he was no longer seeing this other girl, but he had been for three months straight.
When her husband was fast asleep one night, she went through his phone, which he hadn’t locked. She spent two entire hours digging through the messages between her husband and his affair partner, and that’s how she got her proof.
She found out that her husband was spending his lunch breaks with this other woman, and she’s one of his coworkers. This woman’s husband also works with her husband.
“Discovering his affair absolutely broke me. The last time he cheated (4 years ago), it almost ended our marriage, and it took over 2 years to build back the trust and for me to heal from the betrayal,” she added.
Lately, she thinks her marriage to her husband has been amazing. She was genuinely able to forgive him for the past affair, too.
Their physical connection has been on fire, and she goes out of her way to prove to her husband that she adores him.
She figured his cheating ways were far behind them and that they successfully bounced back from the brink.
“His excuse this time was that she sought him out, and he had a hard time resisting,” she said. “He told me he wasn’t unhappy with our marriage at all.”
“He said she had a sob story about how her spouse doesn’t have a [physical] drive and that she just needs someone to show her love and affection…so, how could he turn that down, right?”
“He says he felt super guilty about it the whole time. But it was exciting to sneak around. Not only was he cheating on me, but he was messing with a coworker’s wife.”
She fully intended to blow this girl up for cheating, but her husband pleaded with her not to tell this girl’s husband.
Her husband argued it would jeopardize his job, and so he maintained he would do whatever she wanted in order to mend their marriage.
She demanded the password to her husband’s phone as her one single ask, and he forked it right over while stating he wouldn’t change it on her.
Last night, her husband went back on his word and came up with a new password, and he’s refusing to give it to her. He gave her the weakest excuse ever about how he wants to keep his phone private now that he’s looking at girls online and saving their racy videos and photos.
“I set a clear boundary. He promised that he wouldn’t change the password. And then he crossed that boundary,” she continued.
“He betrayed my trust again. I’ve tried to express how important it is for me. Yet, he still won’t budge on this issue. I just don’t know how to move on from here. Divorce is not an option. We made a commitment, and I plan to see it through. I need advice on how I can move on from this.”
“I can’t really talk to anyone in my life about this. No one knows that he cheated. I don’t want everyone to know. I thought I could get through this on my own, and having his password gave [me] a sense of peace.”
Circling back to actions and consequences, I fear that’s the problem for her. Her husband has gotten away with cheating on her, and she never holds his feet to the fire for it. There’s no remorse on his end, and there never will be.
He most likely knows she won’t leave him, so what’s to stop him from continuing his infidelity?
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