His Girlfriend’s Been Leading Him On About Having Kids, So He Dumped Her
Three years ago, this 34-year-old man started dating his 30-year-old girlfriend, and ever since the beginning of their relationship, they discussed what they pictured for themselves in the future.
He told his girlfriend he truly dreams of being a dad, and while she was fine with that and admitted she was “open” to children one day, he’s come to figure out that she’s been leading him on about kids for years.
A week ago, they had a serious conversation about children, and she confessed that she actually never intends to be a mom for as long as she lives.
“She even went as far as to say, “I’m not one of those women who thinks motherhood will magically complete me; that’s why I [terminated] our last one because I’m sure of myself,” he explained.
“At first, I was shocked, thinking I might [have] irked her for some reason or maybe it was just a temporary feeling, but then in [the] morning, she dropped another bombshell: “I’m happy with my life as is. If you really want kids, we should probably go our ways.” Are all women like this? Then I do not have any hope of making a family, ever.”
It crushed him to find out that his girlfriend feels this way, knowing that being a dad is extremely important to him.
He’s been incredibly supportive of everything his girlfriend has wanted in their time spent together, and he moved to a brand new city for her, too.
He’s having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that his girlfriend never wanted kids and never thought to be honest.
“What hurt the most was when she said, “If you leave me over this, then maybe you never loved me in the first place.” Like, seriously? That felt like an emotional manipulation tactic, trying to guilt-trip me into staying in a relationship where we’re clearly not on the same page,” he added.
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“I had a terrible mother who didn’t love her children, and I felt that convincing her would be a bigger failure if she didn’t adore my kids in [the] future. So I broke up with her.”
“She’s been calling and texting non-stop, crying about how I “destroyed everything,” but I feel it was me who built everything, and she is the one who destroyed us. I’m overwhelmed with this spiraling of gaslighting and not accepting that this is a breaking point.”
He’s put everything into his girlfriend to the point of pushing best friends away, so there’s nobody left in his life that he can talk to about his breakup.
He’s struggling with how he will move on and find a woman close to his age who shares his dreams of a family, and he can’t help but feel like his life is ruined and perhaps he won’t ever get to be a dad after all.
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