He’s Been On Over 60 First Dates In NYC, And He Doesn’t Understand Why He Can’t Find The Girl Of His Dreams
This 26-year-old man lives in Brooklyn and has been in the neighborhood for a bit more than a year now. He adores city living, but the dating scene is puzzling to him.
He relies on a dating app to meet girls, and he gets a ton of matches. He averages two dates each week, but they lead nowhere for him.
“Typically, things fizzle out after 2–5 dates, with the majority of women ending it, though occasionally I do as well,” he explained.
“I’m no Brad Pitt or model, but I’d say I’m fairly good-looking—6 feet tall, in shape from athletics, take care of my appearance and working a solid consulting job.”
“I always put in the effort: I choose nice date spots, dress well, offer to pay, and I genuinely enjoy good conversation. My job involves a lot of face-to-face interaction, so I feel confident in my social skills.”
He can’t understand why he’s not meeting the girl of his dreams. He knows not every girl will be seriously interested in him, but he’s gone on over 60 first dates, and he has yet to find a match.
He’s curious if this is just how things are in New York City or if girls are simply trying to find the next best guy on the dating scene.
It has occurred to him that city women are flakier or not so interested in commitment, but he also is concerned that perhaps he’s doing something wrong, and he can’t see it.
“Personally, I don’t expect to feel instant, overwhelming chemistry with someone right away—I know deeper attraction takes time to develop,” he added.
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“But so often, I get the “I’m not feeling it” text or just get ghosted. It’s frustrating because, logically, I know I’m bringing a lot to the table.”
“I’ve heard that NYC can be a tough place to date, yet with so many opportunities to meet people, it also seems like it should be one of the best places for dating.”
Do you think that’s just how things are in the Big Apple? What advice do you have for him?
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