Her Husband Kept It A Secret That He Got His Affair Partner Pregnant, And Now That She Knows, She’s Ready To Divorce Him
Six years ago, this 30-year-old woman’s 31-year-old husband wound up cheating on her with his ex, who also happens to be the woman who gave birth to his first child. Not only that, but her husband got his affair partner pregnant and kept that second child a secret from her for years.
After she discovered her husband’s affair child, he blamed his affair partner for assaulting him and claimed he felt too humiliated to tell her the truth, but that was a lie he told to try to protect himself.
She believed her husband’s story, which in hindsight, she knows was foolish. She and her husband had also welcomed their second child into the world, and she was too scared to make herself a single mom, especially since she didn’t have a job back then.
“I had nowhere to go; I felt trapped. It felt easier at the time to stay,” she explained. “Backstory: We have been together for 9 years and have two children together.”
“In the past, I had caught him [sending steamy messages to] girls and was never secure in our relationship because of the way he treated me. Honestly, there were dozens of red flags in the beginning but I chose to ignore them because I was young and in love.”
“Not even two years into dating and we got pregnant. He proposed to me and I assumed things would change, but they didn’t. I always worried he was still being unfaithful but I never had any evidence to support my suspicions and anytime I would ask him, he would obviously deny.”
When their firstborn was a year old, she received a message through social media from her husband’s affair partner’s ex-boyfriend.
This man gave her all of the proof he had of the affair, and then she went right to her husband, who accused his affair partner of being an insane liar.
He still wasn’t ready to confess, but eventually, he let it out. The truth is, he did cheat on her, and with a woman who caused them to file for bankruptcy due to attorney fees related to fighting for custody of the first kid that she knew about.
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She can’t imagine why her husband would cheat on her with his ex, since that was never a good relationship. She would not have married her husband if she knew he was sleeping with his ex, and their affair went on for close to a year, beginning two months after she gave birth to her first child.
She’s now pretty convinced she wants a divorce since her husband has zero respect for her. The problem is that they recently purchased a home, and she can’t afford it without her husband’s financial contributions.
If they sell their home, they’re going to owe money on it that they just don’t have.
“I feel trapped once again. I mourn for my kids when they find out; I don’t want my kids’ lives being uprooted,” she continued.
“I’m not sure if I’m looking for advice or validation or maybe someone who has been in a similar situation can chime in. I feel like I got lost in the sunk cost fallacy and wasted so many of my years. My life feels so royally [messed] up and I’m angry with myself for being his doormat for so long. I wish I left years ago.”
What advice do you have for her?
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