She Humiliated Her Boyfriend In Front Of His Friends After She Called Him Out For Never Paying For Anything
For close to a year, this 22-year-old girl has been dating her 39-year-old boyfriend. While they currently do not live under the same roof, they spend a significant amount of time at one another’s houses.
She would characterize their relationship as pretty wonderful. They have a lot of fun together and the chemistry is certainly there, but there’s one big problem that’s beginning to concern her, and that’s money.
“When we first started dating, I was making a bit more than him, so I didn’t mind covering stuff here and there. Like, I’d pay for dinner, he’d get the next one,” she explained.
“Pretty normal. But as time went on, it kind of stopped being “taking turns” and just became me… paying. For everything.”
“We go out to eat? I pay. Groceries? Me. Ubers? Me. When we order takeout at his place, he’ll say, ‘I’ll get the next one,’ but that never actually happens. He’ll Venmo me for like $6 for a coffee once every three weeks and act like that makes it even.”
The thing is, her boyfriend is hardly poor, and he makes great money working in tech. His job is remote, he does not have children, and his biggest life expense is paying his rent every month, so he has cash to spare.
One time, she brought up equally splitting bills to her boyfriend, and he hit back that he was not good at keeping tabs on who paid for the last item or activity that they did.
She has an excellent memory, and she was disappointed in his response. She was hoping that he would agree to pitch in more money for everything.
“So a few nights ago, we were out with his friends (first time I’d met most of them) and someone made a joke about him ‘spoiling’ me,” she added.
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“Like, ‘Oh man, she’s got you wrapped around her finger, huh?’ and I just laughed and said, ‘Oh trust me, if anyone’s getting spoiled, it’s not me.'”
“He asked what I meant, and I said something like, ‘Let’s just say my Venmo history tells a different story.’ I wasn’t trying to cause a scene, I said it lightly, but it got weird. His friends kind of laughed awkwardly and changed the subject.”
Her boyfriend was completely furious and accused her of humiliating him in front of all of his friends. He pointed out that she made him seem like a mooch, and she should have addressed her feelings with him in private.
She reminded her boyfriend that she has tried to talk to him about paying more in their relationship, and he never once listened to her or tried to change.
That night, her boyfriend slept on the couch by himself, and they have not talked about money since then. She did get a message on Instagram from one of her boyfriend’s friends who wrote that she was cruel to say what she did in front of a crowd, since he’s ‘sensitive about money.’
“I don’t know. I’m not trying to ruin his reputation or emasculate him or whatever, but I feel like I’m being gaslit into thinking this is normal when it’s not,” she concluded.
What advice do you have for her?
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