He Filed For Divorce, And Then His Wife Self-Destructed With Their Kids In The Car
Some divorces end in silence. Others end in disaster. He thought once the papers were signed, things might finally calm down; for him, for his kids, for the woman he used to love.
But what happened next felt like watching a slow-motion car crash he couldn’t stop. Addiction. Arrests. His children in the backseat of a DUI.
Now he’s stuck holding the pieces, trying to shield them from a mom who’s unraveling, and fast. Where do you draw the line between empathy and accountability when your kids are caught in the middle?
Last October, this 37-year-old man’s divorce from his 36-year-old now ex-wife was finalized. They originally separated in April of 2024, and they have two children together, who are three and eight.
“Before the divorce, she was a Nurse Practitioner with a comfortable job working for the state. It was stable, low-stress, and well-paying,” he explained.
“But right before our divorce was finalized, things took a dark turn. She allegedly (I say “allegedly” because the legal process is still ongoing) forged a prescription for narcotics and was caught taking the medication herself. Then, she was pulled over for a DUI, with both of our children in the back seat.”
The custody agreement he and his ex-wife had was revised following her arrest. They did have a 60/40 split in his ex’s favor, but then it became 70/30, with him coming out on top.
His ex is not allowed to practice medicine anymore, and so she’s been forced to work jobs that pay her next to nothing.
That is to say, she’s not even pulling in anywhere near what she used to, salary-wise. While his ex still spends time with their kids during her designated days, she’s clearly struggling financially.
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Yesterday evening, his ex mentioned she didn’t have anything to feed their kids, since she is practically penniless.
“It was last-minute, so I grabbed a frozen pizza and some fruit and veggies from my house so they’d have something to eat,” he added.
“She’s simply not capable of making good decisions, financially or otherwise. That was one of the biggest reasons our marriage ended.”
His ex did receive a diagnosis for bipolar disorder, so he can understand why she’s incapable of being stable, as there is a clinical reason.
But he’s worried that if she keeps heading down this path, she will end up homeless or in jail. He knows he isn’t exactly to blame for his ex spiraling, but it’s still weighing on him heavily.
“People get divorced every day, and most don’t self-destruct in the aftermath. But my heart breaks for my kids. They deserve a mother who can at least hold it together during her time with them, even if it’s just a few days a month,” he continued.
“All she had to do was maintain a basic level of stability, and she can’t do it. It makes me wonder if I was the only thing keeping her together while we were married.”
“I guess I’m posting for two reasons. One, just to vent. I’ve been going to therapy, journaling, and I have an incredibly supportive partner who has been my rock through all of this; she’s been through a divorce herself, so she has a little bit of a shared perspective. But two, I wanted to ask: has anyone else been through this? Watching your ex spiral like this after divorce, how did you handle it? How did you protect your kids and your peace of mind through it all?”
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