Many people share the fantasy of tying the knot, settling down, and starting a family with the person they love most. But obviously, life doesn’t always play out like a picture-perfect rom-com.
There are disagreements, pervasive problems that never seem to get resolved, and, sadly, affairs. That’s why this woman, who has always wanted to become a mother, now wants to divorce her husband after discovering she’s pregnant.
Why? Well, they’ve been together for 14 long years, and throughout their whole relationship (including both dating and as a married couple), her husband has been having emotional affairs.
She didn’t find out about his long-winded infidelity until last year, and initially, she left him for a short period.
“At the time, he was claiming to love one of the affair partners and telling everyone that we were divorcing and it was a long time coming,” she recalled.
Yet, for some reason, they decided to try to work things out in their relationship, which she admits was “stupid” of her in hindsight. Spoiler alert: their efforts haven’t been going well, and every single month for six months in a row, she kept learning new information about her husband’s cheating.
This pushed her to tell her husband that her suspicions (and, obviously, his unfaithfulness) were the reason why they didn’t have kids.
“I couldn’t prove it back then that he was doing anything suspicious, but I finally did. He told me he understood why I didn’t want to have children with him,” she explained.
“I do love him. Call me crazy. Maybe it’s just a trauma bond?”
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Regardless, she recently found out that she was pregnant, and understandably, she freaked out. She can’t imagine being “heavily pregnant” while her husband continues to lie and cheat. The thought of it makes her physically sick to even think about.
“I told him this, too. Obviously, it was hard for me to say. I cried a lot. But I think having that peace of mind is something I’d definitely need for a healthy pregnancy,” she reasoned.
Her husband actually got where she was coming from as well. However, he still tried to guilt her into staying in their marriage, and unfortunately, it worked.
Now, she feels stuck in her own life, and their current situation has left her unexcited about her own pregnancy.
“I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I made myself a therapy appointment to help me through this,” she vented.
It’s also worth noting that before she realized she was expecting, she’d been planning to divorce her husband. And even in the wake of her pregnancy news, he has kept doing “shady stuff” in secret and refusing to attend therapy.
Nonetheless, she feels like a jerk for divorcing her husband now that she’s having their child, and she’s not sure if her gut feeling is right or not.
Do you agree it was a bad idea to get back with her husband? If she already intended to leave him prior to the pregnancy, should she just stick to the plan?
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By Katharina Buczek
Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing in... More about Katharina Buczek
