Her Husband Left Her After She Suffered From A Panic Attack
When you build a life around someone’s promises, it’s crushing to watch them break, especially when you’ve already sacrificed everything.
She followed the plan: moving states, becoming a stay-at-home mom, and pouring herself into being there for her daughter.
But now, instead of being supported, she’s being told she’s failing. And now, the man who wanted a family with her is talking about taking their child away.
How do you move forward when the person who vowed to stand beside you suddenly walks out?
This 31-year-old woman and her 34-year-old husband have a daughter together who is 10 months old. She became a stay-at-home mom after giving birth, and she moved to Texas from California in order to be with her husband.
She left all of her loved ones behind, which she was willing to do, as her husband had made a promise to provide for her and be an involved dad to their daughter.
“He was the one who wanted a baby. He was the one who said he wanted me home with her. We agreed before pregnancy that we’d share the load,” she explained.
“I’d take care of most of the baby and house stuff since I’d be home, but I still expected help and support. That was the plan. And I’ve kept up my end. I keep our house clean and organized, do all the laundry for me and the baby, clean the kitchen while I cook, tidy up toys, feed her solids, nurse her, and change diapers every two hours.”
“I take her to doctor appointments, music class, and make her bottles. I try to make extra dinner so he has food to take to work. She’s happy, thriving, and loved. I may be tired, but I still show up for her every day.”
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Her husband’s job requires him to work from 8 to 4, but not too long ago, her husband and his mom began insisting that when he comes home, he should not have to help her with the baby at all.
They expect her to do it all on her own, and they make her feel like wanting some assistance makes her a terrible wife and mom.
But the issue is that it was not the arrangement she and her husband made!
While she does not think her husband should split all of the responsibilities regarding their baby with her, she would like him to pitch in a bit or at least treat her like she’s important.
So, ever since her husband and his mom have been trying to make her take on parenting alone, it’s been awkward at home.
She has requested counseling, but her husband wouldn’t agree to it. He then told her he cannot speak to her since she gets too loud, which is ridiculous to her.
Yes, she does tend to have emotions when she talks to him, but it’s not like she yells or gets crazy. She is just overwhelmed by feeling completely ignored.
“The other night, I had a panic attack. I screamed into a pillow behind a closed door while the baby was in another room. I was overwhelmed and trying to cope silently,” she added.
“His response was to call me toxic, hand me our sleeping baby, and walk out. He said he was going to a friend’s house, but the friend said he never showed.”
“Then he ignored my calls, turned off his location, and I found out later he checked into a hotel. He still hasn’t come back. No answers except that he refuses to be in the same house as me.”
“Now he’s saying I should fly home to my parents and leave the baby with him, so his mom can fly in and care for her. After everything I’ve done, he wants to take her from me?”
Making matters worse, her husband and his mom threw it in her face that she’s doing a bad job as a mom since she spent a lot of time on her phone during their latest family vacation.
She knows she’s burnt out, and she felt like she had a bit of time to herself while on the trip, and her baby was being entertained by her in-laws.
So it’s acceptable for her husband to give her a hard time about helping tuck their baby in for the night or give her a bath, and it’s permissible for him to play video games instead of watching her, but suddenly she’s the deplorable parent for being on her phone.
“I’ve never felt so discarded. I gave up everything to be here and raise this baby. I do everything and still get painted as the problem just for needing support,” she continued.
“I’m financially stuck. I have no family here. I’m not perfect, but I’m trying, and I don’t deserve to be made to feel like I’m nothing.”
Her little girl means everything to her, so her plan is to fly home to California to be with her parents and wait to see what her husband has to say, though it seems their marriage is over.
She’s struggling to picture what her life will look like from here on out, especially since the car she drives is in her husband’s name, and if he won’t let her keep it, it will be impossible for her to find a job back home.
Her parents reside in an area that’s too dangerous to use public transportation, let alone walk. She’s hoping that she and her husband can come to an agreement where she can keep this car, but given that he’s not speaking to her at the moment, she’s not sure how everything will all shake out.
What advice do you have for her?
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