He’s No Longer In Love With His Wife, But He Can’t Recall When He Stopped Feeling Anything For Her
Falling out of love doesn’t always come with fireworks or drama. Sometimes it’s just the slow, quiet realization that the person lying next to you feels like a stranger, and no amount of pretending can bring back what’s gone.
For the last decade, this 36-year-old man has been married to his wife, and they have two children who are five and eight.
His wife truly is a wonderful person and an incredible mom to their kids. She’s hilarious, sweet, and intelligent, so she’s the total package.
“But when I look at her, I don’t feel what I used to. It’s like I’ve been going through the motions for years, and one day I just realized that I don’t feel in love with her anymore,” he explained.
“I care about her. I respect her. I don’t want to hurt her. But when she kisses me, I feel nothing. When she talks about the future, I feel dread instead of excitement.”
“I don’t know when the switch flipped. Was it the stress of the kids? The financial struggles? Or maybe I’ve just changed. But I feel trapped.”
A divorce doesn’t sound like a solution to him, as that would mean ruining the lives of his children. At the same time, staying with his wife is wrecking his life.
He feels like he’s vanishing in his own marriage because he’s no longer happy or excited to be with his wife.
He hasn’t shared his emotions with anyone he knows. Instead, he smiles along, cooks dinner for his family, and plays with his children.
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From the outside looking in, you wouldn’t think that anything is off. However, every single night when he goes to bed next to his wife, he lies there in the dark knowing his life is nothing but a lie.
He can keep faking it, but what good is that? His kids will feel the tension, his wife will feel the distance, and he’ll keep shrinking into a version of himself he doesn’t recognize. I think that the kindest thing he can do now is be honest, even if the truth shatters the life they built.
What advice do you have for him?
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