He Wants A Divorce Because His Wife Wants To Move To Be Closer To Her Kids
This isn’t a case of someone choosing sides out of selfishness; it’s the kind of situation where no matter what you choose, someone gets left behind.
When his wife said she needed to move to be near her children, he understood. But he has kids of his own; kids who lost their mother young, who finally have stability, and who don’t want to leave the only life they’ve ever known. So he made a choice that’s breaking his marriage, but keeping his children whole.
Close to two years ago, this man got married to his wife, and they both have kids from previous relationships. He has an 11-year-old daughter and 9-year-old son, and their mom sadly passed away when they were little.
As for his wife, she got divorced a number of years ago and shares custody of her 15-year-old and 16-year-old kids.
But then, a couple of months ago, her ex was given permission to move to a separate state with the kids, as the kids expressed a preference to live with their dad.
“My wife doesn’t want to be away from her kids for long periods of time, and she has told me she’s moving. She feels like she needs to be near her kids,” he explained.
“I support this. But I won’t move my kids away from family, friends, and stability to do this. My kids don’t want to move either.”
“They heard my wife mention it several weeks ago, and they told me they don’t want to leave. They’d miss everyone too much. I already know the life my kids have here is what they need and where they thrive.”
He relayed this to his wife, who replied that they cannot make their marriage a success if they’re living in different states.
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He agreed with his wife and mentioned a divorce would be the best solution, which made her upset. Later on, his wife wanted to see if she could get him to change his mind about ending their marriage.
He reiterated to her that he would not uproot the lives of his kids, nor would he expect her to spend months away from her own kids.
“I said we’re both committed to the best interest of our individual children, and that means doing what’s right for them even if it’s not right for us as a couple,” he continued.
“She asked for us to talk it out some more, and we have. We’ve talked about it extensively, but all the while she has been making arrangements for a place where her ex and kids now live and a new job.”
“I think she believed I would change my mind the more we discussed everything, but I have not, and now she’s angry that I would rather our marriage end than move so we can all be together as a family. But I know this is not what’s best for my kids.”
Sometimes love isn’t enough to override the needs of your kids. It’s devastating, but real. And while his wife hoped love would convince him to change his mind, what he’s trying to get her to understand is this: being a good parent sometimes means choosing the hard, lonely option over the emotionally convenient one. He didn’t fail the marriage; he just chose not to fail his children.
Do you think he’s wrong for picking his kids over his wife?
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